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Finding The Path To Happiness And Success with Dave DesRochers
I’m going to talk to you a little bit about my origin story and from the perspective of what I was doing before. I moved to LA before I was at all interested in health and wellness. Before I moved to LA, I was living in Austin. I was working as a chef. I was getting a degree in radio, television and film production from the University of Texas. I know many people I’ve talked to since graduating college, I reached a point where I realized, A) What I was doing in terms of my culinary career wasn’t inspiring me anymore. B) What I was studying in school didn’t align even the year leading up to my graduation, I was already having these feelings of, “Is this what I want to be doing?” This is one of those common occurrences in the world where either people aren’t sure. I know I wasn’t sure when I first got into college what I wanted to do. I was eighteen to have my life figured out. Either we’re not sure what we want to do or we graduate college and we end up on a career path that had nothing to do with what we went to this school for.
That’s not to say going to school didn’t have value. What if we could go to school with a little bit more purpose, a little bit more direction and a little bit more understanding of who we are and what we might actually excel at and what the world might need? That’s a question that we’re going to answer in the podcast with our guest, Dave DesRochers. Before I talk about him a little bit, I want to share with you another secret from my bag of tricks, which is a meditation practice I got into that inspired me to deep dive into meditation. Before I found this practice, I was working as a yoga instructor. I knew of meditation but I had never experienced the power of meditation or understood why I should even care. I used to think, “I feel good, my life’s going great. I don’t need to meditate.” Through this practice that was created by the HeartMath Institute, I was able to understand because my brain is analytical and wants to understand, not just the value of meditation, but the science behind meditation and what it’s doing physiologically to the body.
What HeartMath has done is they’ve created an app for your phone, a sensor that you can plug into the app. What the sensor does is monitoring what they call heart rate variability, which is different than your heartbeat. It’s this space in between your heartbeat. What they’ve discovered is that if that space in between your heartbeat is regular, it’s a sign that you’re stressed out. If that space in between your heartbeat is irregular, the way I like to think about it is almost like a meandering river or a dance. Your heart is allowed to move and flow how it wants to when that space in between your heartbeat is variable, hence the term heart rate variability. It’s a sign that you are less stressed out and more in a state of what HeartMath calls coherence. That is a state of rhythm in your internal body that syncs up all of your organ systems to put your body into balance. Not only do you feel great, not only are you reducing stress in your life, but you’re also creating this state of harmony, which has been studied to accelerate healing and regeneration in the body.
When I learned about this and dove into this, I was running around telling everyone like, “Have you heard about this?” Everybody was looking at me like I was crazy, but I was only doing it because of the internal shift I had from investing in this practice. Probably about two months into doing this practice with HeartMath, I hit this place of what I call unshakeable peace within. That’s not to say I don’t have days where I feel stressed out or overwhelmed or anxious or anything like that. We all have those days but beneath it, I recognized that there was a part of me that was at peace underneath that. Recognizing that exists is the first layer in my experience, but having a tool that can facilitate that awareness, backed by science. Also, something you can see in real time on your iPhone or your Android phone is a powerful tool to shift us into experiencing the benefit of meditation.
If this sounds interesting to you or you’ve been interested in meditation, you weren’t sure how to bridge the gap for yourself, this is my favorite tool I’ve ever used to get into it. You can head over to AdventuresInHealth.tv/affiliates. On that page, you’ll see HeartMath. If you click that link, it’s going to take you right to the page where they sell this sensor. In my opinion, worth its weight in gold because of what it’s doing for your body and training you how to have this deep intimate relationship with yourself and the internal systems that are at play. Transitioning into our special guest, Dave DesRochers. He is working with a company called PATH2HappiSuccess. What PATH2HappiSuccess is doing is they’re helping people find purpose in life.
There are two paths that they have available. One is you’re about to go to college and you’re not sure what major to get into or you want more clarity around what you might be good at or it’s people who are transitioning careers. Whether it be our veterans who are coming back from the military and looking to shift career paths, find new purpose and new direction life or people out there who may not be fully satisfied with their careers and they’re looking to shift into a career path that’s more ideal for them. What PATH2HappiSuccess has done is they’ve created a system that analyzes each person as an individual to figure out a combination of what you might be good at. What jobs are available out there on the world based on that and where can you fit in?
They narrow it down to one or two perfect options for you so that you can go into your next phase of life with more purpose. Dave will get into a little more of the details, but this is one of these valuable tools for you to explore if you’re looking to find this purpose in life and you may be at a crossroads, before going to college or in your life and your career where you want to have a little bit more direction. Have a little bit more purpose and a little bit more understanding of who you are and where you need to go. If you’re reading to this episode and you find it extremely valuable, please share with someone else who will benefit from what’s going on here. Make sure you jump over to iTunes and leave those five-star reviews and ratings because that’s how other people find the show and get the opportunity to become a better version of themselves.
Welcome to the show, Dave. How are you doing?
I’m doing well. Thank you very much.
I’m always excited. The gentleman here has got a lot to offer us.
Dave, why don’t you let our audience know who you are, what you do and we’ll run from there?
My name is Dave DesRochers. I am the Vice President and partner of PATH2HappiSuccess. We have a couple of programs. The first program that Dr. Richard Ellison developed is a program that helps young students and older. We have some that are getting ready to graduate college to determine what their best-suited career is going to be that will most likely allow them to be happy and successful doing it for the rest of their life. We feel that’s important. By determining that, in turn they can recognize what their best-suited major is going to be. Quite often, a lot of kids fail because they don’t do any investigative or educational portion to figure out why they’re choosing a major. One in four has seen it on TV.Recognize your talents. Recognize your celebrity. Your celebrity can be anything. Not celebrity status, but celebrity that makes you different. What is it that makes you different that you can bring to the table? Click To Tweet
What we’re saying is that it takes a little bit of work. Our program starts out with an assessment test. An aptitude is what you’re good at. You don’t know what you’re good at. You need to take a personality assessment and that’s what you love. I jokingly say, “I love dancing but I’m not good at it.” I recognize both things are both important. We have a lot of students that are graduating law school and they are great at it, but they hated being a lawyer. We start there and we work them through a process that they can uncover what it is that is going to make them happy.
I appreciate what you are doing because my experience going to college at eighteen, even to my senior year in high school before was I have no idea what I want to do. I’m eighteen years old and I’m barely graduating high school and I have no real-world experience. I’m supposed to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life. It’s this intimidating process and no one helps you figure it out. They say, “What do you want to do?” I was like, “I don’t know. Let’s try something.” I went into film school thinking like, “That sounds fun.” Three years into it I’m like, “I either need to drop out or finish this and figure out what else to do,” because it was never made clear.
It’s funny you share that story. I was in the same boat. I’m 54 years old, so college for me was a few years ago. Nonetheless, what we’re finding in our research is that shamingly it hasn’t changed much. Keep in mind that I was paid to be there. I was under a scholarship for football. I sat down with my counselor and the first thing they asked me is, “What do you want to do?” Just like you, I was taken back. I thought they were going to tell me. Here I am barely eighteen trying to figure out, I’m going to choose a major. I said, “How about architecture? I love to draw.” She said, “Just know that you’re going to need to be taking calculus and statistics,” which was fine for me because I took pre-calculus in high school. I’m good at math but at that time, I didn’t want to take any more math. I said, “How about something else?” She said, “How about graphic design?” I said, “I love art but I’m colorblind.” It wasn’t going well, so I picked graphic design. That was fine for a couple of years until it interfered with practice and I had to change my major. I can only imagine here I am being paid to be there. They have a vested interest in me and I stayed eligible and graduated to what a regular student is going to have to deal with. When I went to school, that’s why I got so involved with this is that I hear that story over and over again.
Do you think it’s becoming more prevalent and common? I know you work in this whole sphere. Do you think more people are coming to you with this issue as time progresses?
Yes, because unfortunately, here’s the advice they’re being given. There’s an influencer out there. The name always eludes me because frankly, I don’t pay much attention to influencers. Their premise is do whatever you want. You’re young, you’ll figure it out. The counselors on the college campuses declared liberal arts and pick a bunch of courses. Because the longer you’re there, the better for them frankly. I don’t think that’s the best advice. I’ve done a number of webinars, podcasts and public speaking to this point. When I played sports every week, I was given a game plan. Fortunately, I was able to play at the highest level. I did make it to the NFL, Not For Long. That’s what the NFL stood for me, but I was there nonetheless.
It didn’t matter how much talent we had. We had coaches providing a game plan for us. Without one, we didn’t have a chance of winning. I pose the same scenario to kids walking onto a college campus is that you have to have a game plan regardless of your talents. You might have a great GPA, a great SAT, ACT score, your college essay, your applications, they got you there. If you don’t have a game plan, you’re setting yourself up for failure. That’s what our program does, it provides that game plan. I’m seeing that more and more, students are going to junior colleges and taking a semester of multiple classes to try and figure out what they want to do.
That’s $1,000 a semester to do that approach, and you’re going to be taking courses. You have no business taking as a way of you finding out. You’re going to get bad grades. You’re going to become discouraged. We start getting into the mental issues of a lot of kids on college campuses. Dr. Mark Olson wrote an article about the increasing suicides on college campuses and Claremont McKenna was the basis of his article. It’s because there’s so much pressure being placed on kids. When they fail the costs and the burden to their family or themselves is high, they get stressed out. There’s another reason for a program like ours to help provide that path, game plan.
I want to go into helping people understand the program that you are putting together. Do you have any real-life stories of someone who maybe was experiencing this through college or life, not sure where to go and through the program found their purpose and direction?
One of the first young people to go through our program was a student at Chico State doing the Chico State thing. If you’re familiar with that campus, it’s known for as a party school and he was living up to it. He’s two years in, mediocre grades and hadn’t yet to declare a major. Upon completing our program, he determined that he wanted to get into GIS, Geographical Information Systems. If none of you have heard of it, that’s fine nor did I. What that speaks to is the validity of our program is that no young person’s going to sit down and look through any kind of book and say, “GIS, that’s what I want to do.” Because of all the things that are specific to his makeup, his attitude, his personality, that type of work, the things that we teach is how much money you can make. Are there going to be jobs available? Your interests, preferences and traits are all the things that we apply in our program, which separates it from all the others out there. He said GIS and went right to sit down with the counselor, putting together his schedule. Within two years, he graduated with a degree in GIS. He had three internships and two job offers on completion of his college career. He graduated with a 3.4. He increased his grades. He became focused. He graduated on time and had two job offers leaving college. That’s the kind of thing that we’re able to provide.
You said he found his passion. He found his light. You tapped into his side of him that helped him to encourage what he wanted to be doing and that’s incredible. With that, how many kids come through the program? Is it only for undergrads? Is it for people like myself who are at 47 had a stroke and looking to find themselves again or looking to create the identities for people who are leaving the league or leaving the military? How do you take them on? I know I ask multiple questions there.
You asked multiple questions, but it is one question. Who is this program good for? I’ve been involved in a lot of things. The exciting thing about what we’re doing is that it applies to almost everybody, every conversation I sit down with. I met with the Rose Bowl Institute that’s putting together a brand-new program that’s helping underserved kids and the Dr. Oz Foundation for underserved kids. It doesn’t matter the entity I sit down with. I go in with a basic concept or idea to present or to speak to, and I leave with two more because every person I talk to, it could be their son, their daughter themselves. It’s an entirely whole dynamic or program that they’re affiliated with or profit, not for profit, community, government. It touches everybody.
When we initially started this in 2015, the primary focus was high school students helping them determine their path. It has taken off in many different directions since then that we don’t have any predetermined idea when we’re talking to somebody. I’ll talk to anybody about this because as I mentioned, it touches everybody in some respect. As we sit, we kept two defined programs, one for those that are trying to define a major and the second one is for those that are career transition. We’re going to continue to go along our path to drop down is going to at some point incorporate vocations and certifications. It’s going to be a guide to becoming a CEO, a guide to becoming a top salesperson and those types of platforms.Quite often, a lot of kids fail because they don't do any investigative or educational portion to figure out why they're choosing a major. Click To Tweet
What are the costs of how to be the man I want to be?
We have a website, PATH2HappiSuccess.com. Both of the programs exist on that website. You can click into the Student. It goes through the platform, what it is about us, what makes us different and you can purchase there and also with the career transition. The retail price on it is $449, but for your audience and as thanking you for an opportunity to speak to your audience, I want to give them $100 discount. I have discount codes. The discount code is simple. For the student program, it’s Health100S. For the career, it’s Health100C for career and that will give you $100 off anybody that’s reading.
Thank you, Dave. That’s a nice surprise. If I could hug you, I would but I’m sure I’d come up to your belly button. How do you help some of your former guys who played in the league? I was friends with a lot of them. Whoever it is that did a big article on with Chris Bosh who played with D-Wade and LeBron James in Miami. He went through a depression. He almost went through suicide. He was on some show and I was listening to him that he lost his identity once he quit playing basketball. He was forced to quit basketball because of a heart condition. He literally went back home and he almost killed himself. The phone stopped ringing, he didn’t go out. He wasn’t getting ready for games. If you had a guy that would be like that, who was on the show with you, how would you work him through it?
Every time I speak to somebody, I always use my experience. Although I didn’t have that fame and fortune, it was still the same scenario. I went from playing professional sports and frankly doing quite well-selling cars. What I learned was there were certain things that we did to get to that level. The same thing with the military, with people of service. What you need to do is recognize your talents, recognize your celebrity and your celebrity can be anything. Not celebrity status, but celebrity that makes you different. What is it that makes you different that you can bring to the table? Everyone has it. Recognize those things that you did that separated you that you can bring to your professional career.
When I was younger, I was not very good. I was a decent athlete. I was good at basketball. I had a scholarship offer for basketball, but I was not good in football and that’s what I wanted to play. I had a new high school coach and he said, “You’re not very good. Here’s a jump rope.” I did not want to be jumping rope at sixteen. I could barely chew gum and walk, but here’s what I did. If he tells me that’s where I need to do to be good, that’s what I’m going to do. I got pretty good at it. When I showed up at San Diego State on scholarship, one of the first things the coaches did was hand us a jump rope. Here I am, I’m skipping my heart out and those other guys couldn’t do it. Right away, I separated myself because I was willing to do those little things.
It’s the same thing with the military. Anybody that’s been in the military, you’re disciplined and your top things that people in real life frankly, for the most part, don’t do so recognize what those are. When I first got my licenses in the financial services industry, I took a job as a junior associate rep. You can’t get any further down than that. What they did is they gave me a phone book, and for your audience that are a little bit younger, there used to be a book with phone numbers in it. They gave me a phone book and they said, “Your job is to contact 30 people a day and set five appointments.” It does not sound fun. It sounded horrible, but I called 60 people a day and I set ten appointments.
Within three months, every rep in our firm wanted me to come work for them. I was making presentations to other juniors subpar rep on how to cold call. The next thing I know I was offered to be a rep and I got on the fast track to being promoted. The thing I learned in sport, I took over to my professional career and I set myself aside. You just need to recognize what that is. The other thing is not to be shy about who you are. The gentleman you referred to who everybody saw on TV and everybody knew Chris Bosh is a little bit different than the guys like me that were not household names, but leverage that. People still want to know who you are. People still respect what you are able to do. Don’t shy away from it.
Where my mind goes when you’re talking about this is you’re helping people find their unique talents and gifts that are special to them. You’re saying share this with the world and see how you can incorporate this in the career path you’re choosing.
Find themselves and find their identity. We all go through it. I had my whole world set for me at 39. I was going to build a new company that Shaquille O’Neil was my partner at that time with the tequila business. I have enough money in the bank and life was great, but you wake up from a coma at six months post that and you’re in rehab. You think to yourself, “What are you going to do again?” I don’t like to do this. I don’t like to do that. I had to find myself in my own way and create my new identity and it started going. I know so many people who are struggling. It’s not about the money, it’s about passion. You give someone the passion and they’re going to show up.
That’s what I think you’re doing because it’s amazing. I was friends with a lot of SEALs in Coronado when I was down there and living there that a lot of them are missing because what do you do after you become a mercenary, the best athlete on the planet and you’re trained to do a job. One of our producers and friends, Thai Starkovich, he was an elite member of the military. He’s a father. He’s a husband, a sniper who ran 39 guys. Where does a guy like that go to after he comes back and the VA shuts the door on him? He doesn’t want to hit the bottle. He doesn’t want to take the meds and he wants to give back. It hurts and I feel the pain that these guys go through because I’m part of that.
It is what our program does. What happens with ex-NFL players or ex-professional athletes? We do the de facto thing just like ex-military. That’s all we know. We go back to those things that we’re comfortable with. Not necessarily because that’s what we want to do, but that’s all we have confidence in. I would imagine most ex-military don’t want to be mercenaries. Ex-athletes go to coaching or they go into investments or they go into insurance, those de facto type careers. What’s great about our program is that we enlighten them as to, “No, you might be a decent psychiatrist. You can use these other talents that you have.” Your aptitudes show that you might be great not in sales but in teaching. They’re recognizing things they had no idea they might be good at. We teach them how to research those careers that are going to provide the financial support that they are comfortable with and let them know how many schools they’re going to need. More importantly, how many jobs are there? Are any jobs available in this field? We do that through the Department of Labor’s O*NET, but we educate them on what to look for and making this educated decision on what your next path is going to be.
Here’s my question. Entrepreneurship, which is what I’ve loved and done my whole life. Do you talk about that at all in the program?Uncover what it is that is going to make you happy. Click To Tweet
It does come up. Once you determine that’s what you want to delve into, it’s the US Department of Labor’s entrepreneurship category because that is a wide-open deal. There are people that think they’re entrepreneurs and they aren’t. There are people that don’t believe they’re entrepreneurs and they are because they’re groundbreaking. They are disruptors. That fits Dr. Ellison. Dr. Ellison prior to this, he’s a PhD from Carnegie Mellon, an engineer. He had a company that was called Environmental Solutions that provided solutions to huge corporations that had problems with pollution or whatever issues that they had environmentally. They thought outside the box and provided solutions to huge projects throughout the country. He was writing a book on Career Happiness and Success is how he developed this program. He found a problem, the college issues that I spoke of and he provided a solution. I have seen also on a personal note and why I love working for this person. He lost his wife to cancer and what the doctors were telling him wasn’t sufficient. He started researching solutions to cancer and that’s his mind. It’s a genius. It’s fun to be around when we have somebody that when they hear something, they don’t concede to it. They’re like, “No, this has got to be a fixable issue.” I don’t know if I got off point on that.
It’s perfect because it touches home with our audience because I lost my mom to it as well to cancer. My father, who was a retired surgeon for many years, delivered baby his whole life at 68. He’s now 73, “What am I going to do with my life?” He lost his partner for 46 years. I can even see this touching upon that age. You lose a loved one. What do you now do? You’re touching home to a lot of things here, Dave, stuff that you probably thought or not thought about. I can’t even go into the loss of a child because that would destroy me, but I wouldn’t be functional. How do you even deal with that then next?
I’m going to share a story. My daughter gave birth to her baby. At five months old, she called me from the hospital and the birth father had shaken the baby to death. When you’re talking about the loss of a child, that pain is immeasurable. It’s not just the grandchild and the horrible story, but here I am thinking about my daughter at a young age losing her five-month-old child. To see her resolve and for her to make the choices she made because for most young parents, they would say, “Don’t touch my baby.” She donated her child’s organs to save other young kids, people’s lives and able to find some positive in that. When you’re talking about unexpected and young persons, it does hit hard and it’s hard to come back from.
It’s got to be hard on you still and your daughter. I can’t even imagine. I’ve got two daughters myself and I love them to death, but God forbid. To be honest here with you, I don’t know how my parents made it through with myself being in a coma for ten days and them not knowing if I’m coming out of it because they said I was going to be a vegetable. I’m never going to come out of the coma. I could be on life support for them for the rest of my life. Maybe we’re getting off topic here, but your program can help people identify with where they’re at and to move through it.
I’m always trying to tie pieces together, but if we’re trying to tie pieces together and at least a little bit, it’s saying that if you’ve been through something in your life that shook your identity or shook you off course, how do you get back to the essence of who you are? How do you allow that to fuel you into the next chapter? That to me is what you guys are doing is you’re helping people tap into the essence of who they are and how that can best fit into the world. The way my mind works is that I’m wondering in my mind, this should be something that we’re being taught as we grow up and in the education system. You’ve got to find out all these different elements about who you are and what you’re good at, but it seems like nobody’s ever teaching that. In your opinion, and maybe you probably think about this a lot, is the education system letting us down?
To your point, yes. As I alluded, the counselors, their default suggestion is just to declare liberal arts. Don’t declare a major. Take a bunch of courses and figure it out. When I was transitioning when I was a student-athlete and I had to change my major due to interfering with practice, I started taking some classes. I like whales and I like dolphins, so I took Oceanography. Evidently, there are a lot of other things in the ocean that I have no interest in whatsoever. I got my first D and I’m on scholarship. That stress factor is like, “I can’t make that mistake again. I better choose easy classes.” I declared Criminal Justice. Those are not the decisions that will bode well for you because those classes were easy but they were boring and frankly, I left after five years without a degree. Fortunately, I was drafted by the Seattle Seahawks.
San Diego State is the school to be at and you run every day at third period because you’re going to see everybody outside. I live right there in Point Loma on Sunset Cliff.
I was the kid in film major in school taking astronomy classes because I thought the stars sounded cool. It was like, “What are we doing?”
Dave, have you thought about implementing your program into some of the private high schools who would take these on?
We’re having discussions. I spoke at the San Juan Capistrano Career Day. I was a panelist. Anytime I get an opportunity, I did a webinar for them as well and speaking to the students. We are for-profit companies. That’s tough on the public schools, but in the private schools, there’s a panel opportunity I have coming up with them as well. We have a dean. He was at Concordia and now at Vanguard. They’re vetting us as a one-unit introductory course that every freshman takes as they’d come into their school to help them determine their major. We are speaking with a number of people that are funding scholarships as utilizing our program before offering the scholarship to ensure that the student has a clear path in mind as to how to utilize it.
What they’re finding is when they’re granting scholarships is that its best intentions, but they’re discouraged with the results that kids are not performing or not even finishing. Scholarship is not a cheap gift. We’re finding more and more people as I get the story out that they’re utilizing us from many different fashions. It’s been suggested to us that we get approved and accredited by the State College Board, so we can be offered at the high school levels where they will actually get college credit and be given the course.
That way you’re getting in the door before they even get to college. Even if they don’t know what they want to do, but they’re at least starting to think about it. They’re being given the tools to assess who they are, what they’re inspired by and how they can take that and build a career out of it.You separate yourself from others when you’re willing to do the little things. Click To Tweet
Dave, I’m speaking this from passion. I got a daughter who’s in junior high and one who’s in third grade. My oldest wants to go dance in college. She gets straight A’s and she already knows what she wants. The youngest one wants to go and come work for me. I’m even thinking, how do you tell this so that kids start early on going, “When I grew up, I wanted to be a doctor?” Someone wanted to be a fireman, Taylor, he wants to be an astronaut. Those days are gone in a sense because there are so much time and space between the age of ten and the age of twenty. If you start talking to these kids, look at coding and social media and what’s going on. If they had a place say, I’m good at this and to play their passion, the drop out in high school would be a lot less as well.
Yes, because they have that hope. I was at an event, the Hope event. I was invited by a dear friend of mine, Dr. Betty Uribe, who is an international bestseller, wrote the book #Values, who’s also good friends with Dr. Golston. She did say it was a Hispanic business conference, but she didn’t tell me it was women. I was one of five men in a room of 1,000 women. A lot of neat inspiration, but I was inspired because these women were focused. The younger women from the various high schools, local high schools and the presenters they had were so inspirational. I could think about was “How great would it be if we can deliver our programs to these young women to affirm” because there were women engineers up there. My aunt was an engineer before there were any female engineers. How great would it be for this young woman looking there going, “I want to be her, but I don’t think I can. I don’t know if I can.” Our program would say, “Young lady, you can. Everything in your makeup is if that’s the path you want to take, go for it.”
As you can imagine, this was Friday. I’ve already had four discussions with different people on how we can deliver that, but it happens all the time. What we’re doing is for people that don’t know to provide guidance or for those that have an inkling or an idea affirming. We’re making them on what we think we can do or what our parents are telling us we can do. That’s the beauty of our program is we’re not an algorithm. It’s a Meta-analysis platform utilizing proven results for the personality and the aptitude portion. The rest of it is we’re walking you through you. We use the strong list of interests that’s been around for decades and we have you choose your top four interests. We use preferences. Do you want to work indoors or outdoors? Do you want to work in a team or individually? Do you want to work 40 hours or whatever it takes? We have a list of preferences. You take your top four preferences and apply them. You take your passions, which are your traits, apply those and we narrow it down to two careers. No other program does that.
A lot of students or people that are reading, they say, “I’ve done that.” You haven’t because I’ve seen the results of the other ones and it’s 50 careers that may or may not be applicable. Getting back to what your parents are telling us, isn’t that great to be able to affirm what your parents told you that is in your wheelhouse and go for it? Rather than say, “No, mom, I don’t want to do that.” It’s a conversation because the parents can see the results from your tests and your program saying, “We didn’t think Johnny could do this and let’s encourage him to do that because that’s what’s going to make him happy and successful.” It’s not a debate. It’s a discussion. Once again, there are many benefits to this program. It’s not just defining this, but it allows parents and students to have a discussion about what’s going to be best for them.
What you’re giving people through all the work is a peace of mind for the students and for the family. Peace of mind for the student or the child saying, “I don’t have to be what my parents wanted me to be.” There’s less stress around that situation because this outside third party analyzed at me and said, “This is what you’re well-suited for.” The parents go, “Awesome. Run with that. Thank you for helping us hone in.” The analogy I’ve made in my brain is you are like the sniper rifle versus a lot of other things out there, more like a shotgun approach. We’re saying these are 50 things that might work versus here are two things that we think are honed in for who you are, what you want. If you run with these, you’re going to not only be successful, but you’re going to be inspired by what you’re doing and you’re going to have good days in your career.
I was telling a friend of mine who I played football with when I played in Montreal. I played there for a couple of seasons. He went on to play with the Giants, the Dolphins and Jacksonville. I told him, “Jeff, I got this program. We’re helping young people with.” He chuckles and he goes, “DesRochers, my son came home and he goes, “Dad, I got good news and I have bad news. He goes, “The good news is all the money you’ve set aside from me for college, go buy a Harley or something because I’m going to be an exterminator.” He goes, “College is not necessary.” As I’ve alluded to is that it doesn’t matter who I share our story with, it resonates with everybody in some fashion.
There’s an incredible amount of peace of mind knowing, “I am good at this and I can run with this.” Dave, I got a message from Thai. He’s one of the guys on our team and he just wanted to tag in because he’s got something to say. Thai, go ahead.
Dave, thank you very much for what you’re doing and for being a podcast guest. I can tell your passion and everything that you’re saying and it forces me to believe in what you’re doing. This is important is what you’re bringing in. We had touched on that loss of confidence that the NFL players, anybody who’s a top caliber at the top of their game be it a surgeon, a soldier, what have you, it just seems a lot of people would be like, “How are you not confident? Look who you are, look what you were.” When all of that is stripped away and that loss of identity is stripped away, I believe and other factors, combat, injuries, that lead to 22 veterans who are killing themselves every single day. Dave, what would you say to the audience, me being one of them that has lost confidence, lost that identity and it had to strip their life and lift and shift to something else and they’re still floating out there? What would you say to that person who is thinking about giving up, is thinking about becoming that statistic?
That’s a tough question in the fact that I don’t want to play psychiatrist. Going into my upbringing and being raised Christian, it’s simple. If the door doesn’t open, it’s not your door. Find another door and find what it is that you can be passionate about because there’s going to be something. It doesn’t matter how bad things have gotten is that you have something to offer. We could probably do five podcasts with my journey and some of the things that I’ve endured. My life has not been perfect. I had to overcome some things and I made a conscious decision that, no, I didn’t want to be on the bench. I’m going to share a quit scenario with you and it’s one of those life lessons I learned playing sport. I played against BYU, San Diego State. I was a junior and I walk into the line of scrimmage. This guy is about to go up against Sean Knight who ended up being a first-round draft pick. I was 6’7” at the time, 290 pounds, which was big in the ‘80s. I looked up and here was this man because he went to BYU. He came back from a mission so he had to be 28. He had a whole beard and his neck is wider than his helmet.
What he did is he just tossed me around for the first four series. I wouldn’t run back in the fifth series. The coach grabbed me by the shoulder. He said, “Son, let me tell you this. You’re embarrassing me. You’re embarrassing your parents and you’re embarrassing yourself. Why don’t you sit this series out and you decide if you want to play?” That’s not what you want to hear when things are going bad. You know things are going bad in your life, you have to make a conscious decision, “Am I going to figure this out and get back out there and compete because that’s who I am? Or am I going to still fold my tents and sit on the bench and quit?” Do you know what I chose to do? I chose to go back out there and battle my butt off. I ended up getting my element of the game, but I had to completely change everything I was doing. If you just keep doing the same old thing, it’s not working now or you can quit.
I would propose to somebody, don’t quit. Figure out a new game plan. Pull from something that you have learned and you can succeed at it. We’re all meant to be happy and to succeed. We just make bad decisions sometimes. Things aren’t going to change if you don’t change. That’s what I would encourage people to do and learn from that lesson because a few weeks later, I went against this all-American Jeff and the big thing was, “How’s DesRochers going to do against this all-American?” I’m thinking in my head, “Didn’t you guys meet Sean Knight?” I was huge. I did fine eventually. The first play of the game, he picked me up and threw me into the quarterback. I’m 290 pounds. I don’t fly well. I went right away from that lesson I learned previously and I did the same thing. Find somebody that can point you in the right direction but find that door that’s right for you.
If you keep going, you never know what the right thing was.You give someone the passion and they're going to show up. Click To Tweet
You keep moving, you keep improving. Dave, you touch my heart and Thai, you do too, but no one had answers for me and it only has a lot of answers for everybody out there. I knew one thing. I’ll keep moving, I’ll keep improving and I had to find my Why and my Why were my daughters. If you think that I’m just going to give up and just quit. I had no chance to hang myself because my left hand didn’t work and I couldn’t tie a knot. I’m laughing about it because it’s out there. It’s the NFL guys, it’s the veterans. You run your whole life building and all of a sudden, you’re paralyzed and it doesn’t work. Obviously, I’m here having a conversation with you. I’ve got to tell you, Thai and Dave, what you’re saying, I will read this over and over again because you’re in my face. Every time I’m thinking about quitting, if Dave can do it, I can do it.
This story is so powerful because I started a mantra of something I say, “I can, I shall, I will.” It has gone viral and talking to people who are getting out of their chairs and walking in because they believe in themselves. A lot of what you do with your program is you find you and when you find you and these military guys have to find themselves again. That’s what we’re building with this podcast. Dave, I hope someday we can have you on again soon because your stories are amazing. Every time I’m sitting back going, “Why me?” I’m thinking about looking up at you going, “He’s 6’7”, 300 pounds and he’s going to lift me across the room. It’s not going to be fun.” That’s the truth because I look up to you. You have a lot of wisdom there. Thank you.
You honed in, Sean, on what was important to you was finding your Why. This is a question we ask everyone, Dave. What’s your inspiration?
I’ve redefined myself as this whole conversation has gone. This new undertaking that I’ve been blessed with, everything I do is about giving back and using my life experiences and the mistakes that I’ve made not only make light of it, but to be an inspiration or to provide guidance to those that maybe have made the same mistake or before they do make that mistake. What I spend my days doing is I speak to whoever wants to listen. I love working with younger people. Younger people are my inspiration. I coached throughout Orange County every Saturday working with young high school athletes. I volunteer for various camps. I speak to high school settings.
I speak to peewee settings about life, and the things we could take away from sport into life. Just things to consider because what I’m finding is they don’t hear it at home as much as when I was growing up. My mom is 6’2” and my dad was 6’7”. They beat good manners into us. I learned from them what it was the right way to act in public and the right way to be a mentor to younger people. I’ve made presentations and the beauty of being done with it and hear the response is I get inspired by the inspired. The people that I spoke to, they feed me. When they say, “I got this. Can we take pictures? What you said was still right on,” it touched me. That inspires me that I may able to touch other people and help them.
Thank you so much, Dave. Let everyone know one more time where they can find PATH2HappiSuccess and how they can get going on finding their inner drive and their purpose in life.
The website is PATH2HappiSuccess.com. Also to allude to the fact that I want to encourage your audience to take the program. We can offer a $100 discount for each program. Our student program is a separate entity. If you have a student that’s about to engage in college or in college and about to graduate and still has no clue what to do, the student program is good. The discount code to put in is Health100S. If you’re somebody that is sitting in a job and disengaged, don’t feel lone. There are 70 million in that number that are actually on the low side and these are multiple studies. Seventy million people are sitting in jobs, they disengaged. They want to move but they don’t know where to go. They’re sitting in there and going, “I’ve already made a mistake once I’m sitting in this job. I don’t want to make another mistake.” The career transition program, the discount code for that is Health100C.
Thank you so much, Dave, for coming on, sharing your story, sharing what you do and sharing that discount code with our audience because we always love it when they can win too.
- Dave DesRochers
- HeartMath Institute
- Thai Starkovich
- Career Happiness and Success
About Dave DesRochers