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Maintaining Connection In The Afterlife with Denise Willis
It’s time to get inspired as is such with all the episodes we do that are more on the inspirational level, it’s going to be about sharing someone’s story. I was talking with our producer, Gloria. We think a lot about how we can get inspired over here but thinking about what that means in terms of sharing a story. We came up with and people may or may not have heard this out in the world before, the idea of you are a composition of the people you hang out with the most. When we’re thinking about that and it extends beyond simply the people that we hang out with, it extends into what we’re consuming.
I always like to think of consuming less about food and water. That’s part of it, but it’s also you are what you’re listening to. You are what you’re reading. As much as possible, if you can surround yourself with inspirational content, healthy food, everything that you’re consuming coming along towards pushing you in the direction you actually want to go, that can be extremely powerful and creating this snowball effect. If the environments that we’re in aren’t supporting the growth that we want, we have to start shifting our environment. If you’re reading this, then you’re in the right place because we are all about getting inspired and shifting our environment to fuel where we’re headed in life.
One thing I wrote down, an inspiration I’ll share with you is there’s nothing more inspirational than hearing someone’s story. If you’ve ever been to a movie, if you’ve ever read a book, if you’ve ever just sat and listened to someone share their story, I find that I get the most fired up, excited and emotional to start taking action when I hear stories because it gets you all jazzed up. The reminder I always get from stories because they tend to be these hyperbolic embodiments of who we are, these extremes. If the strength exists within these amazing human beings sharing their stories, that exists within you. No person would remind you that more than Denise Willis, who is our guest. Despite everything she’s been through, she shows up with a tremendous amount and probably the most amount of love and compassion I’ve ever seen a person continue to show up with. She’s always willing to go the extra mile to be there for someone and it’s a result of what she’s been through. What she’s been through is coping with the loss of a loved, specifically the loss of her oldest child, Steven.
Whether or not you have experienced a loss like this in your life, this story is still going to inspire you because of the way Denise tells it and of the way she has transformed as a result of everything that she’s been through. Despite how challenging it was for her, she’d be the first to tell you that it has brought her an immense gift. The gift she’s speaking of is her gift with her son Steven. This part of the story is where we have to embrace this sense of open-mindedness and curiosity. This takes a little bit more of this explorational tone into what’s going on here for all of us as human beings. What Denise experienced after the passing of her son was this connection with her son that remains to this day and how they continue to communicate despite the fact that he has left this earth. He is still in communication with her, which I think is very incredible to hear and witness and just share with someone.
If you remember back to the one we did with Mark Nelson, his idea and philosophy behind this are that the consciousness survives the body. Denise is this living, breathing example of communicating with a consciousness that is not in a physical body. That’s just part of the story. Of course, a lot of it has to do with her bringing this immense amount of love and compassion, but also this realness to her story and everything that she’s been through. If you’re inspired by this story, which you should be, please take a moment and share this with someone else who might be in need of this inspiration, but who also might be curious about who Denise is and what she’s up to. The fun moniker I’ve heard for her is she’s the concierge to the angels. If you read on, you’ll get a glimpse at what that’s like. Please share this with someone who needs this inspiration in their life, who needs a beautiful story in their life. I hope you enjoy it.
Denise, how are you doing?
I’m great, thank you.
Thank you for coming here and being with us.
Thanks for having me.
Seany, how are you doing over there?
I’m chilled out because I’ve got some energy flown in for me. I’m grounding at the moment.
Denise, for all the readers, let them know who you are, what you do and then we can go into your story and dive right in.
I actually am considered to be the concierge to the angels. What does that mean? I do intuitive healing energy work, which means a combination of things of helping people to heal of natural gifted healing hands. If someone’s meant to be healed, that energy will flow through me to them, not always just in person, but also through distance. It’s a powerful gift. Sometimes I like to do some other things to teach people how to dive a little deeper into themselves to heal themselves on their own, which I think is pretty spectacular. That’s my journey.
First things first, were you always this person?If I am going to live this life and I’m going to move forward and be okay, I’ve got to really feel better about myself. I had to find ways to feel good so that I could enjoy myself again. I could laugh again and not just have it not feel like… Click To Tweet
Yes, since I was a little kid.
Did you always realize you were this person?
I knew I had gifts, but I thought that everybody had similar things. I didn’t learn until I got older that I felt things differently than others. I learned to keep it to myself because I didn’t want to be different or seem to be like a weirdo compared to the ones who acted differently.
At what age did you first start feeling like you were different or something weird was going on or interesting?
I can remember back to age four.
What do you remember from age four?
I could feel what people were feeling. I always had angels around me. I could see them and feel them. Also to a lot that would connect to nature such as animals, birds, butterflies and insects were always around me. It’s like I could talk to them, I could connect to them. I chose to spend more time outside than to be with everybody inside. It felt more like home for me.
To anyone who might be reading what you’re talking about and going, “What is going on here?” What’s your beginner’s guide to helping people to understand, connect with you and what you do?
I think that if someone is going through something in their life, a lot of people who connect to me are usually pretty sick, they’re ready to be at the suicide door or they have loved ones on the other side. It’s recent passings, especially moms that have recently lost a child connect to me because I’ve shared that journey myself. Sometimes people just want to come. They feel like they’re out of sync, they’ve done a lot and their body doesn’t feel grounded anymore or they feel like, “I need something. I don’t know if it’s going to be a massage or I feel I need to rebalance myself and reground.” They come to see me or we’d do a session over the phone or something like that where it could be a reading, healing, crystal rebalancing or something of that nature. I offer a bunch of different services and a lot of times, there are four or five that will be in one session as opposed to you just coming for a reading. Maybe I feel something that’s going on with you because I’m meant to see it. We’ll start the road by connecting and figuring that out.
It’s different for everyone.
That’d be fun though. You have eleven or so different modalities you can draw from and it makes it this creative art. Do you feel like it is an art form?
It’s very much so. I used to do a lot more as well and it morphs into other things as time goes on.
You mentioned relating to mothers who had lost a child and you’ve told us about your experience with your son Steven before. Do you want to let everyone know that story?
Steven’s Gift: A Mother and Son’s Story of Afterlife Connection
I was eighteen and I was with his dad for a couple of years. I remember this one in particular night where we were together and that’s the first night of conception. It’s so hard to put into words the feeling that you have when something like that takes place. It’s all of you goes through this euphoric state of energy. It felt like everything was buzzing. This warm buzz lasted for quite some time for me. I knew that I was pregnant, carrying someone really special. When he was born and he was all of that. He was this special little boy and I got to share eighteen amazing years with him. He was also born with gifts such as I have. It seems to be passed on in my family. There are some of us that have this. Some choose to use it, some definitely don’t.
When he was a senior in high school, he got really sick with cancer and two attempted suicides because he was pretty sick and in a lot of pain. I remember at that time, me being the strong one and doing everything I could to care for him and to help him to feel better. I noticed more things were happening for me where I was receiving messages from heaven’s realm to do certain things and to bring him to other places and to do more. While he was receiving stem cell transplant at Yale University, he started to see someone there for Reiki and massage therapy. She was wonderful because she was a volunteer.
I know this is in me, all this stuff, but I guess this is what they want me to do with it. It stayed in the back of my mind that I wanted to do something with that. To tell people in that light where I knew I could handle being in part of the hospital and being around those who were sick because I lived it myself for fifteen months. As time went by, he was sick. On the last three weeks, he was on a respirator and in and out of body. Being with him throughout that time, I got to feel so much of what was coming and the heaven’s gates opening. When he was crossing over, it was the most beautiful experience. It’s that same warm vibration feeling I felt when he was born was happening again. It was surreal. He’s stayed with me always. He comes to me a lot because he wants me to work with people who are sick, especially kids with cancer and people who are ready to commit suicide. He wants them to learn how to connect inside themselves to find a way to move forward, whatever that takes. To feel the love of who they are so they can continue on their journey and do what they’re supposed to do.
Even though your son has passed, he still works with you constantly or is it just whenever he feels up to it?
It’s interesting because over the years I’ve gone to events with friends and there’s certainly other mediums and some big names that have this room packed of hundreds of people. They always zone in on me to share messages. I know it seems I feel him with me. One particular time, the gentleman asked me to stay behind and he said, “I want to tell you, in case you don’t know, that you’re meant to share the journey with him to continue. That’s part of the reason why you were both born.” I had already known that, so hearing confirmation from other people to me was an amazing gift. I don’t necessarily call out to him, “Steve, can you come to do this or come do that?” He just comes when it’s the right time. I have to say this pretty often because he sometimes wakes me early to tell me something he wants me to do. They don’t really give me much time off.
Is that your little alarm clock in the morning?
Sometimes at 4:00 am and I say, “Really?”
Does he still call you mom?
Yes. He says, “Mom,” and the voice is the same. That never really changes, so I love that.
In your own perspective, having experienced this and we’ve had Mark Nelson, another psychic medium on before. He had his own way of describing this. When someone passes, as your son did, what’s in your words happening to their essence or their being?
This is exactly how I can describe it as being in that room that day, watching the machines flat-lining. I could feel him with me two days before his body died. He was already out of body. Having him follow me to the little room in the hospital to make the call to the funeral home and all the things I had to do, I felt him. He was trying to show me that, “I’m here with you mom. I’m out of the body.” It was interesting because as much as this is the body I had known and loved for eighteen years, I knew that that was no longer him and that he in essence was with me in a different way. What I learned pretty quickly was that he was obviously going somewhere. As time went by, he showed me what he was allowed to or could what that was like for him and what it’s like there. Certainly, a lot is sacred and he loves to be a smart ass and say, “I can’t tell you all that because you’ll want to come and you can’t come now.” He said one thing that always sticks with me. He’s like, “Mom, you know how the girls really loved me there? You should see them here now.”
Is Steven a player in heaven?
I like to hope and think that he was never that. I think that he was such a cutie pie that the girls love that even though he only had two long-term girlfriends. I definitely watched the girls pay attention to him since he was young. The sense of humor never waivers nor did the F-bombs he likes to throw. Some of the mediums will say, “I want to say everything he’s saying, but he’s so vulgar sometimes.” He’ll say, “Just say it like it is and my mom will know if you say like it is.”
I think it’s an important message to say it how it is. Oftentimes, we filter ourselves unnecessarily thinking it’s the right thing to do or the appropriate way. To me, it’s a means of expressing emotion and excitement or exhilaration. It’s always been more of how you’re using the words and not what words you’re using. It’s funny that your son still swears with you.The heart has always been the easiest organ for anyone to connect with because it's so visceral. Click To Tweet
I don’t think my mom would agree because if you could see her face each time I let an F-bomb fly, but that’s my personality. You can work in the most prestigious of places, but if you know me, then sometimes that’s something that comes. I’m not trying to be crass or disrespectful to anybody ever.
Do you think it was meant to happen that Steven was meant to pass so that you guys could work together in this way throughout life?
I do. That’s my favorite part of the whole story. It was shown to me in a dream, the two of us in heaven. I’m talking before we were both born and he said, “Mom, this time it’s your turn. I’m going to be your son. You’re going to be the mom and you’re going to have me young, but then I’m going to have to come home young. You’ll remember a little bit. It will be a little hard for you, but there will be a time that will come that you’ll remember that.” As time unfolded and I saw this dream, it was us having this conversation and I said to him, “Why did it have to be so hard? Why did you have to go through such illness like that,” and two attempted suicides. The second one almost took him out. He said, “If I didn’t, you would never have listened enough to change your path and to do your work. You would have just thought, ‘I have the stuff, so what? I’m no different from anyone else.’ You wouldn’t have put it to work to help people.” That’s the whole gist of how this works out for him and me.
In your experience, the trauma had to be severe enough to knock you off your current path and onto a new one.
I would’ve never changed anything. I would have stayed married and raised my youngest son, Cody, and worked full-time, a soccer mom, a baseball mom as this kid was always in multiple sports. There was never a time for just me, but I’ve never had that since I was a kid too. I was used to being caregiving for everybody and being a loving mom. When that all gets ripped away, there’s a Band-Aid hugely ripped off and now you need to pick yourself up and figure out what your real path is to fully becoming who you really are.
How long did it take you to get through all this? Are you still dealing with it now?
It’s amazing it’s different now. I have to say it took me a few years to be able to forgive my husband for the way he left our family. To be able just to forgive and for me to release it, for me to not hold on to that hurt. The pain and the depth of grief of not having him here probably took me a while. It started to feel more exciting and happy. I found myself not saying, “I wish you were here. I know how much you wanted to be in California, how much you would love it.” I don’t say that anymore. I feel like he’s right where he wants to be and needs to be and he’s doing things with me and he’s doing his own things. I’ve made peace 100% with him being where he is now. It wasn’t the easiest for me either too because everything goes out the window. All your beliefs and you get a little pissed off and then you go through these waves of grief, which are not always crying and sadness. Sometimes there’s anger and depression hugely. I know quite a bit of moms especially who don’t make it once their kids are gone. It doesn’t matter the reason, they just can’t move forward.
Do you have a message for anyone else, any other moms out there who are going through what you’ve been through? Give them that reassurance if they’re reading.
This is my favorite thing to say because this I know so well myself. If the role was reversed and you were there and your son or your daughter were here, would you really want them sabotaging their life, doing drugs and drinking trying to numb the pain? Wouldn’t you want them to feel the love of who they are and to make peace with knowing that you’re in a beautiful place, whatever you believe about that or whatever you feel? They want you to live your best life until you can join them. I know if it were me being in heaven and Steven being here and watching him do all those things, I don’t even know how I would be able to make my journey in heaven if I felt like I needed always to be watching over him. Wanting him to love himself so he could live his best life because it was my time to go, but it’s his time to live. I would say try to put yourself in the reverse situation or remind yourself how much love you’d want for them and to move forward and to do your best to make that happen.
That’s really nice because it’s giving it that perspective shift of what if the shoe was on the other foot.
I watched my mother pass. It took her quite some time to go. When is the right time to let them move on? I know we hold onto it for so long. I know that’s a deep question.
I’m laughing because when Steven was holding on when he was on the machines, I knew he was out of body for a couple of days, but I wasn’t ready to say, “It’s okay, you can go now.” It took someone else, the respiratory therapist was with me and she said it. I almost wanted to say, “No, don’t tell him he can go,” but I knew that he needed to and he needed that to happen. I would love to say at the time of death, it’s time we say that, but I am quite cognizant of knowing that not everybody can do that. You have to do it when you’re ready.
As far as people who want to take their own lives, I thought about it in the past. I’d been depressed, been through my own journey, what do you tell those people?
I tell them I was in your shoes, in my kitchen, in my house in Connecticut and I had saved all my son’s pain pills. I hid them, put them away. One particular day, I had them on my hand. As I was just about to put them to my mouth, he was there and he smacked my hand from underneath, so they went flying into the sink, onto the floor. He said, “Mom, it’s not going to change anything. You have to be here to live your journey. This is not going to stop anything.” When you feel like that, I want to say, “If you feel that you’re done, are you really done or do you think maybe there’s something that can help you feel a little bit better about yourself for you to continue on?” Sometimes people think that they’re done and it’s time to leave, but then when they see mediums, the mediums all say the same thing. “I know it was stupid. I shouldn’t have done that, I should have done this.” It’s like that for people when they’re ready to be at death’s door to thinking of all the stories that people have shared from those who crossed over before by their own hand.
Connection In The Afterlife: If you feel that you’re done, are you really done or do you think there’s something that can help you feel a little bit better about yourself for you to continue on?
It’s so dark. It’s so nasty. It’s disgusting. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it. I’ve got friends who endure the pain. It’s invisible. No one knows how to treat it. They want to give you a bit of vaccine to numb your brain, but you’re suffocating everything in there. If you had a plan or a protocol, how would you try to get us out of that?
I’ve had quite a few clients that, for lack of a better word, I’m calling them friends, people that I’ve come across my path and I have to say I’m going to speak on their behalf at this point. I just have to touch them and I can feel everything. I can feel all that’s happening. I always say to them, “We have to find a way to have you not take all this stuff because what it’s doing is masking the part of you that wants to heal itself. It’s like you’re dulling and numbing the voice inside you. That’s your spirit of who you are that wants to live. These are all these emotions and things happening from all these drugs.” What I usually do is if I can’t see them, I’ll do a distance healing and ask the angels to be with them and be around them. I’ve never really had anyone ever say that they didn’t feel the love of that and that they didn’t feel light within them or light around them helping them to feel better. I could ask everyone to share their experience with that, but it starts off with a connection like that. When they’re ready, they can start to do a little bit of this on their own. It takes one time.
In terms of your own experience, how did you start to basically dig yourself out of a ditch because you’re literally on death’s door? What was your process of healing yourself and coming back from that?
What worked for me and honest to God this is the truth, I needed to change some things in my home. I needed to make my bedroom be my own sanctuary. I started with that and painted it how I wanted and redecorated things how I wanted. I made it be a place where I could lay down and listen to some guided meditation. I love things by Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer. Those were what called to me. Mind you, this is back in 2003 when all this happened. At that time, that was the most loving, enlightened words and music that I found at that time. I would light candles. I got some angels and some crystals I like to put it under my pillow and I would hold my hands over my heart and ask to have them help me to release that pain. It feels like an elephant sitting on you, like your heart is going to explode and you’re so tired from grief, you feel like you could sleep for weeks.
I knew I needed to survive. I had an eight-year-old to raise. I would focus on deep breathing meditation, listen to that music and eventually I’d start to fall asleep. When I started feeling better and sleeping better, I’d focus on deeper and longer meditation time and connect within. That’s when I would feel that peace around me. Certainly, I’ve always had a connection to them, but I’m saying this from the human perspective of me that’s trying to get through this. Once I started to feel that peace, I could do a little more. I could take a walk outside and I felt like I could move at that point, whereas before I couldn’t even take two steps or leave the couch sometimes for a few days, not eating or anything.
How do you describe meditation to people? I know it’s one of those things or it’s those topics that I’m an advocate for, but I have a hard time getting anyone else on the train. How do you help bridge the gap for clients you work with who to them that sounds like a crazy idea?
I have quite a bit of client like that. What I’ll have them do is we’ll do a phone call and I’ll say, “Put your phone on speaker.” Sometimes they call me from the ladies bathroom at work. I was like, “Don’t worry if anyone else is using another stall. It’s okay. It’s only going to be a couple of minutes, I promise. The toilet flushing is okay.” I would have them do that if they didn’t have a headset to plug in. I tell them to close their eyes. At the same time, I would close mine and I’d tell them to put their hands over their heart, their stomach or their head, and I would do the same and send energy. I would say to them, this is me teaching them the first time. I’d have them close their eyes and breathe in through their nose, hold it as long as you can, breathe out through your mouth. I would say a mantra or say something. “It is safe for me to be here now. This headache is going to dissipate,” or something like that and have them say it in their mind while they have their eyes closed and focusing on their breathing.
It’s a couple minutes and they feel better. I’ll say, “Take it deeper and focus on that breath, that same in and out eight times. Now, do it twelve times. Do it for fifteen minutes and do that until you know it’s time to stop and you’ll feel better.” You do it in the car driving. You don’t always have to set the stage. You don’t have to light the candles, “I have to set this whole altar.” You don’t have to do the pressure of that. It’s really just focusing on your breath. When you hold your hands over your heart or your stomach, I feel like people feel they can connect within themselves a little bit better. I know if you even do it yourself now, you’ll feel that.
Especially the heart. To me, the heart has always been the easiest organ for anyone to connect with because it’s so visceral. One of my entry points into a deeper meditation practice fell into this heart-centered meditation practice through the work I was doing. That snowballed and spiraled into other practices, but it had to start there. The way my mind worked at the time was I needed something very tangible. I needed to be able to measure what I was doing and if I couldn’t measure it, I wasn’t interested in it. I think many people have that same idea like, “I want to be able to see something.” I’m sure you’ve experienced this in your work is why meditation is so hard is because it’s intangible.
It’s not, though.
Physically, you can’t see meditation, you can’t touch meditation. You have to feel it.
What do you mean?
Do you remember Louise Hay used to talk about her mirror work? Before you’re ready to do it and you’re at your most harried state of mind. Look at yourself in the mirror and look at your eyes. Do your five minutes, seven minutes or ten minutes. Go look at yourself in the mirror again and look into your eyes. You’ll see it. You’ll see this state of mind that you just put yourself in on your own. Not only can you feel it, but look in your eyes. The eyes show everything.You don't have to believe in angels. You just have to know that you have a spirit in you. Click To Tweet
That’s a great way to do it. I’ve never even thought about that. I’m going to have to try that. Go look at me in the mirror and then go sit and see what happens. Have you ever heard there are practices where people will look at themselves in the mirror for ten minutes straight? Have you ever heard of the eye gazing stuff that people do where two people will get really close and just look into each other’s eyes and it’s uncomfortable?
That’s when the juvenile side of me comes out.
Do they start giggling?
Absolutely. That’s a little much. I’m saying when you’re on your own, you can actually do it.
What else was instrumental in you personally coming back from your darkest days?
It’s funny as I used to hear people say this all the time, especially my sister. “I don’t know how she does it. I don’t even know how she gets out of bed every day.” I thought to myself, “His life was special and he was beautiful. Even though I have these gifts, I’m supposed to do things with it. I still wanted to have a life for myself too. I wanted to be here.” I’m one of those people that has this mindset of “I want to learn everything. I want to see everything. I want to experience everything.” It’s like the childlike wonder who goes to Disney World for the first time. I’m that with everything, with music and places to go hike or whatever, to be outside. That’s me. I thought, “If I’m going to live this life and I’m going to move forward and be okay, I’ve got to really feel better about myself. I don’t want to hold onto this grief. I don’t want him to worry about me. I don’t want him to feel like he’s got to keep watching over me. I want him to make his journey there.” I had to find ways to feel good so that I could enjoy myself again. I could laugh again and not just have it not feel like it’s coming from my core.
Do you remember any time where you felt like you could laugh again?
It’s probably something he did. There are so many things that I could write a story in itself of the little things he would do. There’s this one day, it was so cold in the wintertime and he said, “Mom, you’ve got to go outside. I have a present for you.” I was like, “It’s nine degrees, really?” I went outside and in the midst of all the dead roses in Connecticut, ice-cold winter, there was one small rosebud with about an inch of green and the whole rest of the thing was in this dormant brown state. You have to laugh when you see something like that. It looks so ridiculous and so vibrant. It’s like watching Beauty and the Beast when that rose is perfect in the glass and attached to anything. That’s what it felt like to me. Something like that. That’s probably the first thing that caught me that way.
What did he have to say about it?
He just laughed. He was like, “Mom, I did this for you.” It was like a tearful laugh for me for some of this stuff that would be thrown my way.
For the healing work that you guys have ended up doing, I would love to hear some of your stories of working in the way that you do work with your son who has crossed over. How has that helped you in your healing work? Tell us a story that’s something fun.
There are a couple of pretty cool things. One in particular was someone I knew that I worked with asked me if I could stop by the children’s hospital because his niece was there. I had felt intuitive that there was going to be more her getting ready to pass over. When I got there and her parents were excited to see me and to meet me, I had seen the doctor that was Steven’s in the hall and touched base with him to see what things I could do. At that time, I was a medical massage therapist and I had all my certifications so I could go there as a volunteer to do this work. When I walked into the room, I felt Steven with me. I knew that she knew, this little girl knew. I saw her look to my right where I felt him standing. He said, “Mom, touch her foot.” As I was coming in the room, I said hi to her and I put my hand on her foot and could feel her getting ready to make her transition home. One of the things I loved about that time was the hope in her parents and all the love that they had. I loved being able to spend time to talk with them about that and to help them feel that love too and then just to be able to connect to her, knowing that she knew I knew. She knew he was there as this angel. It was this unspoken thing.
That was beautiful. When her funeral came, they hugged me so tight and said that they felt like I was an angel that came to them to help them to feel love and to remind them that if I got through it, they could too. There have been some others where people who have been pretty sick where I can actually feel him come around my body and put his hands on mine. I feel that healing light come through me. Sometimes he’s just funny. He knows somebody who wants not to be here anymore and he’ll tell me something to say to them that calls them out on their BS. That’s what he says. They’ll be shocked because nobody knows that happened.
You’re telling them something you should know.
Connection In The Afterlife: The best affirmation of your gifts is when you can tell something about someone they shouldn’t possibly know.
It’s an array of things like that. It’s pretty special.
To me, that’s always been the best affirmation of speaking with someone with you and your gifts. It’s when they can tell you something about you they shouldn’t possibly know. Those are always fun moments. You’re like, “How do you know that?”
Steven, how old is he now to you? What do you see? Is he still in that same form as he was in high school or is he different?
He shows himself that way to me and stays in that because he knows that’s what I need. The healthy version of him. He likes to show me that he can change his hair, which is so him anyway. He likes to be chameleon of clothes and stuff like that. He’s much more an ascended spirit where he’s learned a lot and is able to do specific things. He tells me it’s like having a job there where everybody has some things that they want to do and what they’re meant to do being there. I definitely see him as the same, but I see him much lighter and brighter, if that could make any sense to the human eye.
For so many people who are reading who don’t get it and they’re trying to understand it, do they just have to believe and quiet their mind and see what you see or see what we see?
I think it’s different for everybody. Our gift together is he’s supposed to be working with me. I have that. Let’s talk about the moms now who have kids on the other side that that’s not their journey. However, they’re always around. They’re especially around when you aren’t well. Everyone I know will say the same thing. There are these little signs, these little things that are left for them that show them that they’re around. They want you to move forward and be happy and live. They want that for you. They’re okay. They’re great where they are, regardless of what their crossing was. If they killed themselves or they passed away from cancer, it’s a process everybody goes through there. You don’t have to believe in God. You don’t have to believe in heaven or the angels. You just have to know that you have a spirit in you. Everyone has a spirit called a soul-spirit, whatever you want. That’s who you are. When your body’s done, that’s still there. Where’s it going? Do you need to know that? Some people don’t. Those of us who have kids that are gone, we want to know because who’s taking care of our baby? You have to quiet your mind and ask that question, ask your loved one to show you a sign and to help you to feel that. That’s all it takes. It’s that simple.
Gary is your nephew who I wanted to speak to. Explain his journey because one of the people we talk to are paralyzed or in trouble with their physical form. You helped your nephew heal. Do you want to explain that?
The first time, it was almost a year after Steven’s passing. I actually had given him Steven’s car because Steven received about $6,000 worth of things for it for Make-A-Wish. Cody was too young, at half the age of sixteen. I gave it to my nephew as a gift that I knew Steven would want me to do. Almost a year later, he had a really bad car accident. The whole right side of his body had been through major trauma and his jaw was pushed to the side of his face. We didn’t think he was going to make it through that. His mom called me in the middle of the night to get there. I got there shortly after he arrived. He still has blood coming out of his nose and his ears and it was a pretty scary time. She’d asked me if I could do that thing I do and see him. They left me alone with him so I could touch him, put my hands on him and see what’s happening. I could feel the trauma in the head and in his body, especially his head that took the brunt of it. I needed that little minute to get myself in check because it was not long after Steven passed and they looked a lot alike. For me to see him in the hospital bed, the human part of me needed a minute to calm myself and ask for help from the angels so that I could do this.
I stayed with him for quite some time with my hands and feeling the energy flow through me. When it was done, I could feel that the break happened. Everybody came back in the room and the next morning he was out of his coma. He was awake. He shared the story about finding him half out of the back window and Steven was with him and stayed with him the whole time. You can’t make that up. These are people that don’t believe in any of that. When it’s so into you, you’re at death’s door and you see your cousin who very much was alive and is very much an angel now. That I think was a combination certainly of me being the conduit and the channel to help him feel that light for him to come about.
He suffered another accident where he fell from a roof over 30 feet and was paralyzed from the chest down. The doctor told him after many procedures that he was never ever going to walk again no matter what they tried or did, nothing worked. Stubborn as he is, I said to him, “Don’t listen, no way. We’re going to ask for help. Steven’s there. I know he’s not going to leave your side because he doesn’t want you to live this life and he knows you won’t make it. You’ll take yourself out because you won’t live life like this. Let’s focus on that and keep focusing on that.” I’m proud to say he’s 100% fine. It was a battle, physical therapy and all kinds of support, but he had faith in himself. He didn’t listen to their verdicts and kept pushing forward and no longer needs a walker strapped to do anything. He does everything as he did before. I know that’s from him connecting, having faith in himself and knowing that he was going to have some support.
I know his belief. He’s a fighter. You got to fight for a dude to come back. I say this all the time, but we’re always looking for modalities. We’re always looking for the answer, the cure. I’m paralyzed on my left side. I’ve got no feeling from my waist and my belly button down. I’m a quad. I’m paraplegic. What did you do? Is it a form of crystal work? Is it a form of energy? Everyone’s going to start asking to understand.
It’s a combination of everything. The first thing I usually do is call upon Archangel Raphael, who’s the healer. It’s an angel I know well. I ask Michael to come for protection, to release any energy that’s there that shouldn’t be. I ask for help. I also do what I’m guided to do, which is I can visualize the person’s body inside and out. I use my hands, crystals and things like that to help make the energy be stronger, to help send that healing. Not everyone’s meant to heal. Sometimes their journey is meant to be, “I suffered a brain aneurysm and this is what’s going to take me out. This is what’s going to take me home to heaven.” Sometimes that’s there too.
If there’s a person that doesn’t want to go out and they want to stay and they want to heal things, you do the work. The work for you is to focus on your healing and doing all that you can. To keep pushing forward and to have the help of someone else to help from a spiritual perspective, to help from a healing energy perspective. Try everything. Gary did everything, whatever he felt called to. Sometimes it takes only one session with someone and something that you’re doing for yourself that’s a game-changer. The question is to start somewhere. If you notice a change or you feel a change and your mind isn’t sabotaging it because we know that the body won’t heal if we’re in a negative state and we’re pissed off that this happened, you can heal.
You also have to say to yourself, “I am this, I am strong, I am powerful, I am calm and I’m open to accepting all this.” If we shut down the brain where you’re broken, you’re staying in that way.Everyone has to discover their own path to healing. Click To Tweet
Whoever wants to hear that, whoever wants someone to say, “They’re really broken. I don’t think you want to spend time there.”
I’ve been there too and it’s a tough battle to come out of.
That’s the thing. The question is when you’re ready, it’s like what Louise Hay always used to say. “When the student’s ready, the teacher appears.” If you’re not ready, there’s no timeframe on that. I know people that have one, two, three children in heaven from weird circumstances. Most people would say, “I don’t know how they’re going to get through that.” I say, “Do you want to get through that? Do you want to move forward and live your life? Let’s talk about that. When are you ready to start doing that? Let’s talk about the things that will help you.”
I’ve found in my experience in this community and talking to people, everyone has to discover their own path to healing. There are people that can help you along the way. To me, it’s a lot about discovery. It’s a lot about what works for me, what resonates with me probably isn’t going to resonate with everyone. I’m just using an example from my life. I don’t think everyone wants to spend four hours in a float tank, but to me that’s really exciting. What I’m trying to say is that can be a very powerful healing experience, getting in a float tank and spending four hours there, but if it doesn’t resonate with you, it’s not going to be.
I did this with someone. I loved it because I love water, except for the hair part. That was a nightmare for me to get out. To be with someone else I went that day, she was maybe five minutes in. She waited for me the whole hour because basically she wasn’t ready to face her crap. While she was in there, she was like, “I’m out of here. I can’t.” You’re under the water and your ears are under and immediately you’re feeling everything that’s going on in you. She wasn’t ready. She was out. I just said, “That’s what you have to do.” I wouldn’t even say you should’ve stayed longer. I don’t believe that. I think that if she was ready and really wanted to stay, she would have and she may never get there. That’s the other thing too.
I believe that doesn’t have to be the experience that helps you get where you need to go. There are a million and one ways to get where you want to go. To me it’s trial and error. That’s what I’ve always done. I’ve been a yoga teacher, a chef, a freaking biohacker, not because I feel like anyone was the answer, but they all taught me something in there. It was all an experience and quest for understanding myself. If I’m the vehicle through which I experience life, I want to understand that vehicle as best as I can.
Tay, you also had to go through and find your own voice and be open to the next step. You went through all that training to be here right now, speaking on behalf of not just yourself, but so many people who want to hear you and are open to healing through health. I commend you on that because at your age, it’s not easy to go through all that and say, “I’m going to give everything up and start this new journey,” because this journey is going to be your biggest one yet.
I believe that. I can’t lie to people and I reached a point in my career professionally as a trainer where it was either I had to start lying to people or I had to stop doing what I was doing.
You stopped believing in it. I know you now. If you believe in something, you’re all in 100,000%. If there’s one piece of you that you don’t believe in one supplement and there’s an agreement in there that you don’t like, that supplement is off the table. That’s how you are, that all in or nothing. That’s great.
I’ve found a way in the world that works for me and I feel really good about doing it that way. I’m not going to compromise what I do. I don’t need anyone else to do what I do, but I found some cool stuff along the way.
How did you end up on Oprah? You’ve written two books. Is there another one out? Is there another one coming?
I’m doing a children’s book trilogy. This is Steven and me together. It’s so cool because on his birthday he was like, “Are we ready? Open the computer. Let’s start.” That’s how it works for me. That’s how I start. The Oprah Show is the most awesome, amazing experience. How it started is as simple as this. I saw that Louise Hay was coming out with this documentary/movie called You Can Heal Your Life. I had to have it. I ordered it from my office overnight mail, which costs more than the whole kit, but I had to do it. I was biting my nails for the next couple of days, watching the tracking. I even left the office when I heard that it’s being delivered at 3:04 or something. I raced home, sat with it, felt it and I felt like I resonated with the main character, the woman in this documentary movie thing.
It’s incredibly beautiful, all of it. I was finding that some of the things she was saying I would say about myself or something like, “I say that too. No wonder why this is like this.” I thought I had forgiven myself for feeling things or things I thought maybe I didn’t do or did wrong or whatever. With my ex at the time, this happened to be his birthday, which is so ironic at the same time. I remember waking up the next morning after watching this, sending him in my mind a birthday wish and saying to him, “I wish you the best life. I hope you have the best life,” as I really want that for myself too. I felt as soon as I did that, this cord snapped. This release happened where I no longer felt his energy at all or any pain or any of being angry for the way he left and how he handled it. It all went away. I felt so stoked, so excited that it was done now. It’s a completely cut path, which was spectacular a few years later.
A couple of days later, I received an email at my office from Harpo Productions saying that everyone who purchased the movie, they were going to be doing a show on Oprah. They wanted to get some feedback to see how the movie impacted your life. I ignored it. I thought, “How cool they’re doing that. I love that they’re doing that. It should help a lot of people.” Throughout the day, I kept feeling Steven poke at me like, “Mom, you have to send them. It’s not like Jerry Springer. You just do it. You have to do it.” I kept ignoring it. Finally, a woman who sat next to me who’s gifted herself and this is like a lecture company. This the other half of my brain that does that work as opposed to the other spiritual side.
Connection In The Afterlife: You are the vehicle through which you experience life.
She came over and said, “I don’t know what’s going on with you. I keep feeling that your son is around and I don’t know him, but I know it’s him. He keeps making me know to tell my mom to do it.” I thought, “The F.” I’m like, “Fine.” I literally opened up an email message. I typed my response, one paragraph. It took me three minutes to write it, didn’t even spell check and sent it. The next day they were calling me and asked me to send his death certificate, my divorce papers, pictures of him and I. It was Dana, Oprah’s producer. She said, “Denise, of all the stories, we received wonderful stories, but yours touched Oprah the most because of what you’d been through. She wants you to join us on the show.”
The next day I flew out and was there to do the show. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I asked them not to tell me because being an empath and having these gifts makes things so heightened. I was like in a whirlwind and I felt like I couldn’t hold my feet to the ground. I didn’t expect it to be Louise Hay, Cheryl Richardson and Martha Beck were on this show together. It was mind-blowing. That’s how it was. They wanted to talk to me about my experience with that and that was pretty special the whole time. It was really cool. He was there helping me because I didn’t know what they were going to do with all the pictures they had me bring. When it was my turn to talk, on this humongous screen behind Oprah is Steven and me. I could feel myself well up. This was in 2008. He passed in 2003, so I still was not able to talk about losing my stuff. I heard him say, “Just breathe,” because I wanted to talk eloquently and be able to answer their questions and not look like that. I want people to feel sorry for me or feel empathy. I wanted them to hear me talk about this so they could do it for themselves.
That had to be such a wild experience. My mom used to watch Oprah. She had it on TV every afternoon. I also probably saw you there at some point without knowing it.
It’s so weird because I had a client and she was like, “I saw the documentary you did.” I thought, “I didn’t do any documentary. Who’s taking my stuff?” She said she was in Mexico and there was something that aired and I said, “It must be the Louise Hay thing.” She said, “Yes.” All these years later, pieces are out there, which is pretty awesome.
What was it like talking to Oprah?
I’ve met her before because I used to work at Miss Porter’s School in Connecticut and she came to speak and her niece went there at the time. She was amazing because when you’re doing this two-hour recording, something like 45 minutes of it actually airs. There was a lot of time for her and me talking and me and Louise. She was asking me a lot of questions such as what you guys are like, “How do you know someone’s with you? Do you hear them in your head? Do you hear their voice out loud?” She was telling me an experience that she had. This is at the time that her show started to morph and change a little more on the spirituality side of things. I felt pretty honored to be there. She and I walked on stage together. I had a cast on my foot so I was the last one. They brought me in at the same time as her. I loved that. I had a really great experience with her.
I’ve got one more question for you and it’s one we ask everyone. What is your inspiration?
I think my inspiration is a pretty simple thing. Each day that I wake up and I hear the birds outside and I see the sun shining in the window is an inspiration for me. It reminds me that there’s life out there and there’s an essence to that part of nature that connects to me. I feel blessed that I’m here another day to do what I do and enjoy my life. That’s it for me.
Thank you very much for joining us, Denise. It’s been a pleasure. If you out there are reading and you feel the call to connect with Denise, how can they connect with you?
I’m pretty simple. It’s DeniseWillis.com.
Thank you, Denise. We’ll see you until next time.
About Denise Willis
Denise is a bereavement/spiritual coach, holistic practitioner, healer, intuitive, psychic medium, and published author. She specializes in medically intuitive healing energy therapy sessions as well as readings. Denise has been blessed with the gift of healing through touch and her beautiful connection to the angels. Such gifts come from a much higher source and Denise feels that she is simply just the conduit in which to pass the energy through. These gifts have been part of her life ever since she was a child.
Having the gift of “knowing/intuition” has blessed her in so many ways. She believes that everyone has a deep inner knowing of their own healing process and she fully supports them in finding their own unique path through gentle healing modalities. She is an insightful, intuitive, warm, compassionate, and open-hearted healer paying close attention to her intuition to provide precise healing sessions that help you feel loved, supported and cared for.
Denise’s first book was published in October of 2017. “Steven’s Gift”, began the day Denise’s son Steven went home to heaven in 2003. It took more than ten years to complete and is a self-help book that delves into the depth of her connection with her son through his journey with cancer and their connection before they were born and their continued connection today.