Life is more pleasing when you are at ease with your emotions. Host Sean Entin and guest Cedric Bertelli, the Founder and Director of the Emotional Health Institute, talk the importance of understanding emotional intelligence in order to help you resolve your own emotions. A master on emotional resolution, Cedric introduces a technique for this that is based on a form of meditation called EmRes. He also shows how to begin the process of healing and releasing stored memories and emotions in you that are really not serving you.
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Emotional Resolution: Mastering Your Emotional Well-being with Cedric Bertelli
On this episode, we’re talking about foundational health and these have to do with the core essence of who we are. When you master foundational health, you’re mastering the fundamentals. From that place, everything that you do in your life is going to feel much easier and enjoyable. This show’s foundational health topic concept is linked to emotional intelligence. This always reminds me of that scene from Star Wars episode one, The Phantom Menace, where Yoda is telling young Anakin Skywalker when he was just a kid, “Mind your feelings.” I think that’s something along the lines of the fear and anger re path to the dark side. I think it’s an illustrative example because Anakin Skywalker literally becomes Darth Vader. It’s a warning about how your feelings, your emotions can become destructive if you don’t manage them or don’t even acknowledge them.
I wasn’t always interested in emotions and feelings. In fact, I spent most of my life of ignoring them and pretending them they didn’t exist. A lot of that simply had to do with awareness around the topic. How I first got introduced to the topic in my own life was through a meditation practice called HeartMath. It’s a scientific assessment of how you’re doing emotionally in the body and they’re able to track this through the way the heart responds during meditation. Through this meditation practice, I was able to start recognizing these different emotional states and which ones were constructive for me and which ones were maybe not ideally where I wanted to be. Creating this awareness around the emotional state to me was the first step towards cultivating a deeper understanding of your own emotional state.
From that understanding, then you can start exploring avenues for healing. I was just on the internet looking up different interesting ideas around emotional intelligence and the most interesting one I came across was the idea that emotional intelligence is a better predictor of success than IQ. That sounds a crazy statement because we’re built up in this culture of how IQ biggest indicator of intelligence. Daniel Goleman, who’s the leading author on emotional intelligence, he’ll say that the emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain. What that translates to in my mind is you’re having an emotional reaction well before you’re logically and rationally thinking about someone or something. You can probably think to a time in your life where you made an impulse decision on an emotion you didn’t recognize. It was because of an emotion. He also goes on to say that mindful meditation has been discovered to foster the ability to inhibit those very quick emotional impulses.
This brings it around a full circle where meditation, this practice of awareness, allows us restraint and control to say, “Am I making this decision from a place of pure emotional reaction where I’m coming from a place of being grounded and whole?” This is what our guest, Cedric Bertelli has introduced to us. It’s a technique for an emotional resolution that is based in a form of meditation. In the show, he’ll walk us through his story, which was coming from this angry, upset and frustrated guy. He was just trying to figure it out. He found this French-based emotional resolution technique called EmRes. It’s a simple technique for starting to create a relationship with your emotions and also how those emotions are impacting your physical body. How to begin the process of healing and releasing these memories or these emotions that are stored in us.
Emotional Resolution: The world out there and the way it is, is just a reflection of every single one of us. The only way to change what’s happening on a larger scale is to heal ourselves.
If you feel this is something that would benefit your life, please start trying the technique out the way he describes it. If you’re out there and you feel this is overwhelming, find someone who can help you. I think my experience with emotional well-being has been having other people to help you through it, especially professionals can be extremely valuable. Recognize where you’re at personally on this journey and if you can feel comfortable doing it alone, awesome. If you feel like you need extra help, reach out and find an avenue that feels right for you. We’re going to keep bringing on guests to talk about this.
Please, if you’re listening and you’ve enjoyed this episode, share it. If you feel like there’s someone in your life who might benefit from some sort of emotional healing technique, which is probably all of us, sending an episode is oftentimes more powerful than trying to tell them because they get to hear it from a third party. It gives it that degree of separation where someone’s going to be more receptive to hearing Cedric’s story of emotional healing than necessarily being told they need to change. Please share this episode and take action in your own life to start resolving and bringing awareness to anything that might be going on under the hood. As I said at the beginning, this is foundational to succeeding and being at 100% in terms of your health and wellness. Mastering emotional intelligence and emotional well-being are crucial to all of us making progress no matter what our goals are in life. Please share the episode and enjoy everything that Cedric has to offer.
Cedric, welcome to the show. How are you doing?
It’s a pleasure to be here.
We’ve got Thai Starkovich stepping in and manning the mic on the other side. Ty, how are you doing?
I’m doing great. How are you doing?
I’m good. I’m excited because we’re talking about emotions and how to heal from them. Cedric, will you give us a quick background about who you are and how you got into the work that you do and then we’ll go from there?
My name is Cedric Bertelli. I’m the founder of the Emotional Health Institute. I founded the institute in 2012. Prior to that, I was doing something very different. I was working in the hospitality business. I was working for restaurants and hotels managing the front of the house. The reason why I shifted is that the work I’m doing now changed my life in the sense that up until 2009, I was facing a lot of emotional difficulties such as anger and anxiety. I found a program in France back in the day that taught me how to resolve those emotional difficulties permanently in a very natural way.
After experimenting with the work, I quit my job in the states, went back to France and studied in depth what they had to study. I came back to the US in 2011 and continued working in collaboration with doctors and professors to understand specifically how the brain on a strict emotional pattern. How we can allow the brain to resolve permanently and naturally any kind of emotional difficulties that come back on a regular basis in our lives such as PTSD, anxiety, depression and anger. That’s what I do now. I teach therapists, doctors, policemen, educators, etc. to resolve emotional difficulties whether with their clients, the patients or kids. I receive clients as well to help them resolve their stuff.Take responsibility for your emotions. It is your responsibility to feel better. Click To Tweet
We talked briefly before the show. Before you went to France, you had to try this on yourself and you were a little bit skeptical. Will you share with us your experience? You mentioned you’re struggling with anxiety, anger and depression. What was your personal experience and what was resolved and how?
At the time, the main emotion that was giving me a repetition was anger. I was screaming a lot and kicking things. They used to call me Napoleon back in the day at the Ritz where I was working because I was bringing major tantrums and that’s what we’re seeing your work done. I didn’t want to feel this constant anger in me anymore. I reached out this guy in France and we did a session. What it did is it you recreated this emotion in me or I recreated it myself and I use the physical sensations present during this emotion to resolve the emotional once and for all. Very quickly after this experience, it was easy to learn from this guy how to resolve any emotional clutter. In my specialty, more than that, what interested me is why it worked and how to make it work all the time on everybody.
Cedric, you mentioned you recreate the emotional experience and then you try and notice where that’s showing up in your physical body.
It’s quite simple. I think it’s important to demystify emotion. When we have our nose in our emotions, like PTSD or depression or anxiety, we are in it and there’s a mystification about it, like a Freudian mystification. Emotions are hazy almost. I think it’s important to understand how it works so we can take responsibility for our emotions. Whatever happened to create our emotion, it doesn’t matter anymore. Once the emotion is in us, it is our emotion and we become in charge. We’ve got to understand how emotions are created in the brain. First of all, we need to understand that one of the main function of the brain is to predict. The brain constantly predicts. We do not react to life elements. We predict them based on past experiences. Imagine if we were reacting constantly to life, we’d be long dead.
We can predict the stuff coming up that we survive and we will where we as human beings. It’s the same thing for emotions. An emotion is a prediction of the brain based on past experience. What kind of past experience? In order for human beings to have a disruptive emotional pattern, the origin is one out of two things. It can be an unwilling short loss of consciousness that create a pattern. That can happen if you have a car accident, it can happen if you go under surgery and be very stressed. That loss of consciousness also happens very often at birth. That happens very often for a baby to lose consciousness during the birth process. That can be one of the elements that create a pattern. The second element, which is more common, is very intense stress. When as human being, when we go through very intense stress, a normal mechanism which happens, which is there is a short disassociation often, a moment when the cognitive brain shuts down. It’s normal to protect ourselves.
During very intense stress, the cognitive brain shut down, however, the subconscious brain records everything happening during this stressful moment. What’s happening outside of us in a very precise manner and what’s happening inside of us. The physical sensations present during stressful moments. The trauma happened and we move on. We go back into our life. Once we’re back in our life, when our subconscious brain recognizes and it doesn’t make any sense, the subconscious brain doesn’t make any sense. It just records and recognizes. Our subconscious brain recognizes one of the elements that were present during one of our traumas. It can be a smell, it can be a touch, it can be something that you hear or something that your taste. Once the subconscious brain recognizes one of those elements, automatically and instantly the subconscious brain is going to predict what physical sensation you’re going to feel in your body based on what you felt at the moment of the trauma.
For me, if high stress is one of those triggers, then someone like Thai, is going to have day after day in combat and he’s constantly creating this long extended trauma. Does that resonate, Thai?
Absolutely and what I was going to say, the difference between the conscious and subconscious mind where the subconscious records everything and consciously, we don’t have access to that but it pops up. These memories will pop up. You’ve got to distinguish between when something’s happening to you in real-time like how you’re processing it consciously. You’re going through this OODA loop. It’s Observe, Orient, Decide and Act. It can be something as small as you have an itch. You observe that you have the itch, you orient yourself to where the itch is and you decide you’re going to scratch it. That happens at a subconscious level.
When you’re in that conscious level experiencing this in real-time, you look at it almost from a logical perspective and you’re saying, “This is happening, this is the probable outcome, this is what I need to do,” and then you find a resolution. What I experienced with the subconscious and reliving trauma, I can think about it consciously and that doesn’t bother me but there’s always this underlying feeling of anxiety which manifested into depression later on and anger and short–tempered views, defensive and things like that. I’m long-winded about this here, how can you consciously differentiate what or sort through what your subconscious is inundating you with? Is there a way to control that?
Emotional Resolution: An emotion is a prediction of the brain based on the past experience.
That’s a fantastic question. The door to get in, to resolve what you mentioned, the short temper, is when you feel it. As you said, sometimes you can think about things and you’re not feeling triggered because it is not the same language. When you feel the anxiety, when you feel the anger coming up as you feel the emotion without even knowing why it’s coming up by that time, when you feel the emotion, that’s your entrance door to resolving it. Because how do you know you feel short temper or anxious? How do we realize that as human beings?
When we’re experiencing it.
How do we know that we’re experiencing it?
Because we’re going through it.
How you’re reacting mentally to it. How it emotionally makes you feel.
Even if you go back up a little bit, you realize that you feel anxious or angry because you have tensions in your body. That’s how we know as human beings that we feed an emotion and emotion physiologically work in the human body first through physical sensations and when your cognitive brain cannot shut them down, that’s when an emotion exists.
You’re absolutely correct.
An anxiety, anger, depression and stress always come first through physical sensations. Those physical sensations, we call that interoception in neuroscience. When you realize that you’re anxious, it’s your body telling you to feel it, then you interpret it. You conceptualized it as anxiety maybe but first you feel it in your body. When you feel it in your body, it’s like a vortex in your brain opening up to resolve it. When you feel this anxiety, it is a prediction for your subconscious brain.Your subconscious brain is predicting some physical sensations that it thinks you’re going to feel. Do you know the same way that when we bite an apple, before we buy an apple or lemon, we know how it’s going to taste like? The body predicts it before. It’s the same thing here with emotions. It doesn’t make any sense but sometimes you’re going to feel anxious or sometimes you’re going to feel angry. You’re going to feel it in your body first through physical sensations.
Stay with me when I say that I need a prediction of the brain. A disruptive emotional pattern like being short-tempered or etc. The brain is predicting based on past experience but it’s a wrong prediction at this point because you’re not on the combat zone anymore. You’re not in danger anymore. Your subconscious brain still thinks that you are because he kept one of the elements, God knows what. Now the beauty is that when you feel this anxiety, do not try to understand why you feel it. You do not try to bottle it down, you don’t want to put it down as you feel the anxiety. If you want to resolve it, you’ve got to close your eyes. It is very important. You got to feel comfortable to close your eyes. It’s important because if you close your eyes and you feel okay with that, you’re showing your subconscious brain that you’re safe.
If you’re not comfortable to close your eyes for some reason, isolate yourself to make sure that you’re comfortable to close your eyes. It’s very important. It brings the safety to the brain so you feel an emotion, you close your eyes and you feel okay with that. The next step is going to pay attention to your physical sensations. You’re going to pay attention to two physical sensations present in your body during the emotion that you want to resolve. It’s not one. It’s not going to work. You’ve got to pay attention to two physical sensations present in your body at that moment. When you’re going to do that, your emotional reaction is going to stop right away.
It’s almost like a variation of when people are going through anxiety mode, they say, “Look at five things you can see, four things you can touch or whatever it is.” You’re getting in touch with your sensory and you’re saying, close your eyes and your subconscious brain acknowledges the fact that you are acknowledging what it’s trying to present to you, correct?
This is absolutely correct. You close your eyes, you make your subconscious feel like you’re safe. You pay attention to those physical sensations, two physical sensations at once. Most of the time we cope with those sensations. When we’re anxious, we try to cope with the anxiety and anger. We try to erase it to shut it down. Here, you’re going to have to dive into it.
It can be uncomfortable.
Cedric, I know you mentioned two very specifically. Why would it be two instead of just one sensation?One of the main function of the brain is to predict. We do not react to life elements, we predict them based on past experiences. Click To Tweet
Because if it’s only one sensation you’re going to hyperfocus on the sensations and chances are it’s going to increase as you’re going to try to control it. By breathing, by stretching, you’re going to come out of the experience. If you pay attention to two physical sensations, it gives you enough room to observe without changing them. It’s so important. Imagine that you are paying attention to those physical sensations. That’s the first step. Those physical sensations are not going to stay static. They’re going to start moving inside of your body. We call that the phase of evolution. It has to happen. It’s human. It’s a natural process. You pay attention to those sensations and now you observe what’s happening in your body.
Those sensations are going to change. They’re going to change places. They’re going to change intensity. They might be quite uncomfortable but you’ve got to observe them without trying to control them, without trying to work to understand what’s happening. What is going on at that time in the brain is quite simple. You are consciously following sensations that are obsolete. The sensations in your subconscious brain link to a traumatic event. Once you can observe those sensations from a safe place, until they don’t evolve in your body, it will not take more than 60 seconds.
I just want to follow and clarify so make sure I understand and our audience does too. There’s this subconscious reaction that causes a physical sensation and if I bring consciousness or awareness to those sensations and in a safe place, it allows them to heal, repair and dissolve themselves because we’re no longer working subconsciously. We’re working consciously with those feelings and sensations.
You’re absolutely right. You’re updating once and for all a wrong prediction.
Because then you’re convincing yourself when you feel that you’re safe.
Absolutely. You’re showing your subconscious brain that whatever stimulus it thought was a danger, you can stay safe and sound in front of this stimulus. Nothing is happening to you. The stimulus is an outdated information and you show that to your body because from a safe place, you’re able to consciously follow the sensations and nothing is happening to you. You’re staying safe in your mind and you’re staying safe in your body. The plasticity of the brain is amazing. The prediction that was started from the stimulus will never come back again in your life.
That’s powerful because you’re simplifying a very complex topic because it’s the brain, it’s the emotion. It’s all these things that aren’t tangible and we can’t touch. What you’re saying is a lot of these issues many of us might be dealing with can be resolved very quickly, efficiently and for life. To me, that’s the ultimate hack. We want to find quick, easy ways to resolve our issues so that we can keep showing up as a healthier, better version of ourselves.
Absolutely. The crazy thing is it’s there, it’s available but we keep on pushing it away. Every time we feel anxious or angry, we act out of this or we try to shut it down. We’re re-comforting your subconscious brain that yes, there is a danger because you’re fighting those sensations. You’re trying to shut them down.
A common theme of that I keep hearing is from trauma and how to heal trauma goes back to getting your central nervous system almost into homeostasis, until that calm mode. That can be done through thought because if you keep triggering yourself in this fight or flight mode that you’re in. Your conscious thoughts are helping to continue those thoughts on and on and make them stronger. I’ve done that to myself through anxiety and it ultimately manifests into depression.
That’s exactly what it is. You nailed it. We cannot heal or resolve an emotional difficulty by thinking about it or talking about it. It is not the right channel. It will not do anything. Talking about a problem, talking about the trauma, it can help you understand the trauma. It can help you control the trauma, but it will not stop the impulse that you feel every time and you lose your temper. It will not stop the anxiety. It will not stop the depression.
I’ve always felt that inherently, that was the case. If you’ve got anger management or any type of group setting like PTSD, trauma groups or what have you, it almost feel like you’re just reliving it but you’re not resolving it. As you said, it’s an understanding. It’s almost a discovery phase of understanding what the PTSD is doing to people, to you but it’s not doing anything to resolve it.
The key is to feel the emotion the way it is felt now but physiologically, consciously, until all the sensations are gone. For me when I work with patients or clients coming for PTSD, we never ever talk about what happened back then. It is not relevant to healing. How does trauma impact your life now and from a today perspective, which most of the time it’s safer, you can resolve it once and for all.
Emotional Resolution: Fighting your sensations and trying to shut them down ultimately manifests into depression.
Cedric, this is huge information for not only myself but everybody out there that is suffering from PTSD and trauma. There’s a lot of people, not just combat veterans. There are people that experienced traumatic events in their daily lives as civilians. You can’t put one up on a pedestal than the other. Your trauma is trauma and these people are looking at what Taylor was saying. What we’ve been trying to do is find that easy button, that easy button that you can access to feel relief now and hopefully work towards it being permanent. This sounds it’s one–time. You can get in there and heal yourself through your modes and that is a huge thing. That would help so many people, Cedric.
Absolutely you can. You don’t have enough to do a session with someone. It’s very easy to learn specifically how to do it. I gave you the basis and what I gave you, you have the complete basis on how to do it. When I train someone, I do it two times for an hour for us to go in details and so they can understand, experience and then we can reframe if there is anything that didn’t work properly so they can make it there. You can learn how to do that in two hours.
My experience too Cedric and just my own life, we all have emotional experiences that don’t feel great like anxiety, depression, whatever it’d be. I’ve noticed for me, my default mode is to try and distract myself in some way. Whether that’s watching a movie or playing a video game or in any way because you feel something and you recognize you don’t want to feel it. You’re trying to run from it and escape it. What you’re bringing to the table is saying if you just stop, take a moment and acknowledge the emotional and the physical experience you’re having, that’s going to create this cascading effect where you’re resolving an emotion at the moment versus pushing it away or trying to ignore it or trying to, in my words, run from it.
He’s completely correct and we keep on running from it on a daily basis. The key is that if you feel stressed or you want to watch a movie or take a book or go to yoga or whatever it is, if you feel you have to control your emotional state, you’re not well. Stop, you close your eyes, you pay attention to your physical sensations. You don’t take a breath, you don’t try to relax before. This is not meditation. It’s a process for resolution, something the body is offering us. You feel the emotion, you got to dive into it. You close your eyes, you pay attention to two sessions. You observe with curiosity those two sensations, what are they doing in your body? Consciously follow them. The evolution of the sensation will take between two seconds and sixty seconds but never more.
When you’re going through this process on yourself, is it better to be laying down versus sitting or just anywhere you feel comfortable?
I would say do not lay down because sometimes the sensations can feel a very strong fatigue and it becomes difficult to follow them when you lay down. You almost can go into a sleepy mode so always sit up. The sitting up is the best position.
You said that it can put you in a sleepy mode. Are you familiar with the theta brain state?
Yes, and no. I don’t know enough about it.
I was just wondering because it’s that state of mind that’s very correlated to the subconscious and I was wondering if your experience was that a part of what this process is doing is it’s putting us into that state where then the resolution is possible. I would guess that’s probably part of it but if you don’t know, you don’t know. It’s okay.
No, I don’t know. For me, for my understanding, it’s working so well because you’re conscious through the whole process.Once you realize that your brain constructed the emotion, it is your responsibility now. It’s also your responsibility to heal it. Click To Tweet
You’re becoming an active participant in understanding what’s going on and not running from it. One of my former back practices and you talk about it is yoga. This is a little bit different, but a big part of yoga is one, deep breathing, which again is making your body feel safe. The deeper you breathe, the safer you feel and the calmer your nervous system. The other part of Yoga, which is core is just awareness. It’s when you feel sensation coming through the body, you’re supposed to become aware of it, deep breath in and allow it to pass. I think the new layer you’re adding on here is you’re not just becoming aware of one area but becoming of two so that one isn’t building and you’re spreading out the healing in a way or spreading out. The way I visualize it is you’re breaking apart the concentration of it by splitting your focus into two different areas. You’re spreading out the physical experience of it and not just putting it in one spot.
This is correct, absolutely.
Do you have any cool stories from your work with clients or with people? You don’t have to name any names or anything but what people have experienced being guided through this work.
There are so many of them. It can be things like anxiety. The anxiety that has been with someone almost for life from a lifetime can be resolved in a few minutes. It can be a kid. I teach educators how to do that with kids and the kid who was having that major tantrum up to throwing chairs to the teacher, the teacher playing the process to calm the child and the child stopped doing that from one day to another. I had a kid who couldn’t take a shower because he was too sensitive to the water. Every day before taking a shower or whatever, you had to run after the kid in the house to catch him because he was so anxious. Now, it’s done. Does the kid like the shower? He doesn’t like the feeling of the water but now the parents can just ask the kid and the kid comes and take a shower. It’s everything you can imagine. We got to understand that the default emotional state of human being is contentment. It doesn’t have to be a strong emotion. It doesn’t have to be strong anger or strong anxiety. If there are moments during the day when we don’t feel content, when we feel a little stressed, a little depressed, it is not “normal” and that can be resolved.
When you’re practicing this technique, do you have to wait for the emotion to naturally come up or could you say go through your memory and look for those experiences that come up and send yourself into the feeling to resolve it? Do you think it’s better if you naturally wait for it to come up?
The way that I work with my client is I have to start from memory to recreate the emotion. I also teach some of my clients how to do that on themselves by themselves. Studying from a specific past situation, how to recreate the sensations and then resolve it afterward. For me, it becomes an engine of life. The best way to do it is to do it at the moment once the emotion is present. I am aware that sometimes because of the context, we cannot do it at the moment. In this case it’s useful to start off my memory but the best way for me is to do it at the moment. It’s acknowledging that we don’t feel well and accepting it and getting into the sensory reality of it.
For you, is this your own practice now where anytime something comes up for you, you try and pause if you can and just step away and feel it and then come back to your day–to–day? Do you feel through a lot of this practice, it is not showing up as much?
It’s not showing up as much. That’s the beauty of it. There’s always stuff that comes up that I was unaware of and now that I’m more aware of so I work on. Once you’re going to start to do this, it’s become an engine of life. Whatever you work on doesn’t come back. Every time you work on something and it doesn’t come back, it frees a lot of emotional space. Then after a while, it’s realizing that a lot of stuff that you thought was your personality is not a personality trait. You’re doing things not because you’re an anxious person, but because you have anxiety and you can resolve this anxiety. It is looking at our behaviors and see that a lot of our behaviors of fear-based. Then that becomes interesting because you start to create a path toward “your soul,” so to speak. You start to look at all the stuff that you thought was you since you were a child and maybe it’s not. Maybe that can be resolved and maybe you can be confronted by such and such situation, if you see what I mean.
Emotional Resolution: Once an emotion is present now, acknowledge that you don’t feel well, accept it, and get into the sensory reality of it.
Totally. For me, my practice is starting to look at habitual emotional patterns or habitual states I get into. Not knowing necessarily where that’s coming from, but now regardless of whether you understand where it’s coming from, you can start to resolve it. I’d be curious, Thai, what do you thinking over there? I think for you, this might be easy to try out and get into.
It seems it’s a simple thing to do easily. You can do it yourself, but there’s a lot of stuff going on in the background. It’s the technicals behind it. Why do I need to approach this head-on? What is it doing to me? It’s that process of facing it. I think a lot of people like myself, we need a bullet point. Cedric, if the audience is going through anxiety, what can they do to get that quick win right now?
If you feel the anxiety or whatever emotion it is, you got to feel it now. Feel the emotion now. What you’re going to do is close your eyes right away and take a second to notice until you feel comfortable to close your eyes. Imagine your wife is in front of you or you’re in a meeting, it feels real to close your eyes. If that’s the case, remove yourself from the situation to a place when you can comfortably close your eyes. It’s so important. At this point, sit down if you have too. Pay attention to two physical sensations. Maybe your throat is tensed and you’re feeling nausea or maybe your legs feel weak and your joints are tensed. You feel the emotion, you close your eyes and you pay attention to two physical sensations in your body. You’re going to feel those physical sensations. You don’t have to look for them. They’re going to be right there.
Remember if you’re feeling the emotions because you’re having physical sensations and not vice versa so you’re going to pay attention to two of those sensations. At this moment, that’s what’s the most difficult piece of this protocol is which is observing the sensations without impacting them whatsoever. Observe the sensation with curiosity and let them change in your body. You’re going to see then that those sensations are going to start moving. Maybe you’re going to feel more nausea. Maybe you’re going to feel your head spinning. It’s okay. Observe what’s happening without trying to understand or without trying to control it. Observe what’s happening inside of you until you feel physically calm.
You touched on something you guys were talking about your identity. What you think your personality is or what you attach to that’s happened or what you were later in life. For me, for example with the military, you spend so much time. You spend almost your entire adulthood. If you spend twenty years in the military, you get in at eighteen, you’re 38 when you get out. You’re institutionalized in this high–stress, high–mode environment. You start to gain identity from that because the military does great things, you’re part of it, you have this identity. When you lose that, when you get out of the military, sometimes people feel they lose their identity.
You also talked about being the observer behind what’s going on instead of, “What is your consciousness?” Are the words that are coming out of your mouth, is that what you were even thinking? Is it the observer behind all of that stuff that’s the true you and what does that identify with? I think that a lot of people have that partially and say it’s that trauma of loss of identity that gets thrown in. It maximizes the damage done from these PTSD or whatever trauma you’re going through. If you have an egoic attachment to who you were or your any sort of identity, you can’t sit there and observe what’s happening to you in your own thoughts and how you’re reacting from a detached observer point of view. I feel like a lot of people get hung up in that mode, which is keeping them from healing. Does that sound true at all?
That’s absolutely correct. The biggest blockage to this is we have the tendency to blame our emotions on our past, on our parents or experiences or whatever it is. It’s, “We are this way because that happened,” that’s a fact but there is no point. It’s understanding that there is no point in blaming, pointing finger or there’s no point for self-pity almost. From the moment you realize it, your brain constructs the emotion. Once you realize that this is your emotion, it’s not your fault that it’s in you but it’s your responsibility now. It becomes your responsibility. It is also your responsibility to heal it. It is your responsibility to feel better. You’re right, the most difficult part is to accept that this emotion is ours so we can change it.The default emotional state of human being is contentment. Click To Tweet
You both touched on it but becoming the third party observer, to me it’s something that’s so important not just for this technique but that’s something I learned and I teach in meditation. It’s becoming detached. Not detached in that, “That’s not me,” but detached in a sense of, “I don’t have to be actively in this experience. I can observe it from afar and watch what happens.” Through that, what you come to is this realization that yes, what’s happening is your experience is yours to resolve but it’s not the true essence of who you are. That observer, to me it relates to tapping into what you mentioned Cedric, was that our default mode is contentment. I think the place where that exists is in that observer state and that’s where the peace you feel is, that’s where the love you feel is. That was where the contentment is because that part of you recognizes that most of what you’re experiencing isn’t of its true nature.
You’re absolutely right. The beauty of this work is once you tap into the observer at the moment of the emotion in the way we described it, literally this emotion would never come back and you can move on. You can grow so much faster. It’s so gentle. You don’t need courage anymore so to speak. There is fearlessness but there’s no need for courage. We have this tendency to always push ourselves, pushing ourselves through our boundaries, pushing ourselves through our fears. We don’t have to violate ourselves constantly. We just have to get in, observe and integrate.
I love how simple you make this for all of us, Cedric, because we are about bringing our community simple elements to help heal. I just love how simple you’ve made this and accessible and we can all start taking action and learning more. We’re coming up on the end of our time, but I got one more question for you and this is one we ask everyone. What’s your inspiration?
My main inspiration is nature, no matter what. It’s the power of human bodies. We have everything in us to live a peaceful and quiet life. Everything is in us, if we just accept to look into our difficulties. When I look at the world out there, the world the way it is a reflection of every single one of us. All the wars and all the stuff going on, it’s happening in every single one of us. The only way to change what’s happening on a larger scale is to heal ourselves and it would need to take the time to heal ourselves and that’s it. It’s by changing our self and feel better our self on a deep pragmatic level, we are going to impact our family, our community and even truly the world in a powerful way. It’s about pragmatic self-healing and feeling good.
Thank you, Cedric. For all of our community and audience that wants to learn more and connect with you, where can they find you? Where can they find your work and how can they start to take more action?
The best way is to go to my website. It’s CedricBertelli.com. Thank you.
Anything else you want to add on to where they can connect and start taking action?
Every month in San Francisco at least, I do free training where I teach a group of people how to do these works on their self by themselves. We’re going to start to do some trainings in different places of the US, in Texas, in Oregon and in different places. Those trainings will be free. This knowledge is my gift to the community. That would be on the website and the website of the institute, the Emotional Health Institute is being redone. It is going to be EmotionalHealthInstitute.org. It will have all the dates for the free trainings and all the programs that we’re proposing.
Thank you so much for offering that to the community, Cedric. If you’re out there feeling any of the emotions that we talked about or just any of your own emotional experiences, please first give this a try because I think feeling and experiencing is how you’ll come to understand something. If you receive benefit from this, please forward and share this episode to someone else who you think might need to read it, which I’m guessing is most people need to read this information so they can start to find that resolution. Thank you so much, Cedric, for being here and thank you Thai for jumping on.We have everything in us to live a peaceful and quiet life. Click To Tweet
Thanks Cedric. This was awesome. This is profound.
Thank you guys.
I’m excited to share this with a lot of people and thanks to Taylor for having me on and I appreciate it.
All right, until next time, my friends.
Thank you, Thai and Taylor. If you try and have a hard time, do not hesitate to shoot me an email. I will help you to make this tool yours. Do not hesitate to reach out.
- Cedric Bertelli
About Cedric Bertelli
Cedric Bertelli is the founder and Director of the Emotional Health Institute. Cedric is of French origin and has lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for over ten years.
He began his training in Emotional Resolution in 2009 in France and has continued this work in the United States since 2011.
Cedric’s expertise is to resolve disruptive emotional patterns with clients using his understanding of how the brain constructs emotional difficulties and how it can permanently release them.
In addition to working with clients individually, Cedric trains mental health professionals and educators across the United States on Emotional Resolution.